Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker

UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author

Archives for December 2015

Day 4 – Are You Too Busy Dreaming Of A Fairy Tale Christmas?

Articles

Day 4 – Do You Really Need A Fairy Tale Christmas?

Welcome to your De-Stress Your Christmas Advent Calendar count-down – day 4! Today we’re looking at how setting your sights too high can lead to stress and not enjoying your Christmas.

Are your expectations secretly cranking up your Christmas Stress?

The television and magazines often portray images of family Christmases where everyone gathers round the tree, singing carols, and the food miraculously appears from the direction of the kitchen, as though prepared by house elves.

And if you run through the virtual book of images in your mind about how you would love Christmas to feel, chances are there are some really strong expectations running. You probably have a really clear idea of how you want Christmas to be.

But it rarely works out that way.

So many things are beyond our control. You can’t force it to snow. You can’t force Uncle Jim to behave the way you want. You can’t force the kids not to fight over the new toy.

How to spot whether you’re falling into this trap?
Click here to share on Facebook

Is your Christmas full of ‘shoulds’?

Describe how you want Christmas to be this year and ask yourself:

“Is my Christmas full of ‘shoulds’?”

As soon as you spot a ‘should’, there’s an expectation.

Then: for each ‘should’, is it actually something you can control?

Yes? Great! Then do something positive about it 🙂

If not, you need to let it go. Or you’ll end up feeling stressed, miserable and disappointed.

The key to setting yourself free from this stress is to learn how to accept the things you can’t change.

Yes, if something is unacceptable, you can take constructive action. But if it’s really beyond your control, then you’re more likely to give yourself an ulcer through stress than to be able to change it.

So my invitation to you this Christmas is to tell yourself:

“Everything is ok, even if it goes wrong. And that’s ok.”

Just accept what happens. Change what you can. Let go of what you can’t.

And breathe!

One of the most challenging aspects of Christmas can be our nearest and dearest – and their behaviour is one of the things over which we have least control. Want a solution?
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Really Had Enough Of Annoying People At Christmas?

Click here to read the article and this little-known ‘how to’.

If you’ve had enough of dealing with annoying people, then you’ll love this simple 3-step process to set yourself free.

I was inspired to create it by being on the receiving end of some appalling customer service, but you can apply it to anyone who is getting on your nerves.
I hope it helps!

How To Handle Annoying People Without Losing Your Cool – In Under Sixty Seconds
If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.
What are your secret time-stealers?
And what are you going to do about them?

See you tomorrow with Day 5, when we’ll be looking at whether you’re eating yourself miserable!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Day 3 – Discover Your Secret Christmas Time-Stealers – And They Might Not Be What You Think

Articles

Day 3 – Discover Your Secret Christmas Time-Stealers – And They Might Not Be What You Think

Welcome to your De-Stress Your Christmas Advent Calendar count-down – day 3! Today we’re looking at what steals your time at Christmas.

Time stealers rarely come with the warning they deserve. How could you spot yours this Christmas?

You’re in the middle of Christmas preparations and the phone rings. Half an hour later the kids demand a snack, then you spot the ironing, a few unpaid bills and catch up on your emails or Facebook. Before you know it the day has gone.

Time stealers tend, instead, to sneak up on us without us realising, overstaying their welcome and rarely saying thank you for the care we lavished on them.

And they might not be physical interruptions. They can be as simple as getting lost on BuzzFeed or catching up with your Facebook friends – and suddenly not just minutes, but an hour has disappeared.

No one is suggesting that the kids should stay hungry or that bills should fester. But you can be clever about how you manage these interruptions.

Sometimes delaying dealing with them for just 10 minutes can give you the space to finish a job and cut your stress levels.

Sometimes having set times each day to deal with emails / bills / phone calls can be a useful tactic.

A bit of planning can have a huge impact.

Each of us will have developed ways we can squeeze these kinds of jobs, to get on with the “real stuff”.

What could you do today, to reduce the impact of your regular time stealers?

How about keeping a mental note, just for the next few hours, and noticing what is stealing your time? It might not be what you think!

What are your biggest time-stealers?

And how might you handle them, this Christmas?

Click to share the questions on Facebook

And Here’s Why Christmas Multi-Tasking Might Be Your Worst Enemy

Ok, I have to confess that I am terrible at this one. Or rather I’m great at it, which is the real problem.

I’m a champion juggler, when it comes to my to-do list. You could even call me a grasshopper (and people have), as I jump from one thing to the next, whilst balancing the previous thing on one foot.

I love starting jobs, but I get very little satisfaction from finishing them. But not finishing things off does cause me stress…

I’m very fortunate to know some wonderful people who are amazing at what psychologists call being a “completer-finisher” – in other words they get deep satisfaction from completing a project. So I’ve been able to see how much difference it can make to stress levels.

At Christmas, when you’re likely to be taking multi-tasking to near-Olympic gold medal heights, finishing tasks is vital.

That means wrapping up the final present and then putting the paper away.

That means writing that final Christmas card address on the envelope and actually posting it, rather than leaving it lurking guiltily in a drawer, till January.

The opposite of multi-tasking is finishing one job before you start the next.

It might feel boring, but you’ll quick learn to love the release you feel as you let the completed task go and tick it off your list. In fact, it stops you from ‘spinning that plate’ – it stops the task from draining your energy and you know it’s done – you don’t have to think about it any more.

Nothing beats the satisfaction of 
ticking a job off a list.

Confession: do you ever ADD anything to a list that you have already done, just so you can tick it off? I do… 😉

It’s about being present in the ‘here and now’, rather than doing one thing while thinking about the next.

It’s about laser-focus. It’s about efficiency.
It’s ultimately about de-stressing!
And it’s only for Christmas, after all!
If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.
What are your secret time-stealers?
And what are you going to do about them?

See you tomorrow with Day 4!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

P.S. If stress is a big thing for you, then you might want to check out my Master Your Emotions Kickstart course. It has already helped many people, just like you, to get a handle on their stress levels and to get off the emotional rollercoaster.

5Minute.Biz: Is Scrimping And Saving Secretly Trashing Your Business?

5MinuteBiz

So we all work hard on our businesses. And we all want to be successful. But I’m curious – there’s a trap that too many of us are falling into that could be trashing your chances of success.

If you’ve got an eye for a bargain, then this one could be affecting you.

Today I’m sharing some wisdom from a dear friend of mine whose wise words could stop you from making that mistake in 2016 – and beyond.

And all it takes is a shift of attitude:

So I’m curious:

  • Have you been falling into this trap?
  • Do you recognise it in your business or your wider life?
  • What is it that might be lying underneath – triggering this behaviour?
  • And which commitment to your business future might you be making today?I’d love to hear from you via the comments!

See you next time when I’ll be spilling the beans on the number one thing you need to do when you’re creating or selling a product or service, yet most business owners aren’t doing it.

With love, Namaste,

CJ Sig

P.S. Here are the links I mentioned:

Accountability Mentoring – only 3 places left for Q1 2016: www.ClareJosa.com/accountabilitymentoring

December Masterclass: Best Year Yet www.ClareJosa.com/bestyearyet
January Summit: Dare To Dream Bigger www.ClareJosa.com/dreambigger
Note: If you join our Backstage Pass membership in the next few days, you get both the December Best Year Yet masterclass AND the January Dare To Dream Bigger summit included in your membership: www.ClareJosa.com/Masterclasses

Day 2 – What’s Even Better Than Getting It Perfect This Christmas?

Articles

Day 2 – What’s Even Better Than Getting It Perfect This Christmas?

Welcome to your De-Stress Your Christmas Advent Calendar count-down – day 2! Today we’re dealing with your inner perfectionist…

Is Christmas bringing out your Inner Perfectionist? Is your Inner Critic having the biggest party of all?

The Holiday Season does something to us that no other time of year can. Think about your summer holiday – did you get as stressed about choosing the right flip flops and beach towel as you do about Christmas gifts and celebrations?

What is it about this time of year that means your Inner Perfectionist steals the limelight?

After all, Christmas is about love, and the message that the celebration of the birth of Jesus brings to the world. Whether or not you’re Christian, it’s about family and friends and caring and joy and laughter – not stressing about whether your present bows match the paper perfectly or exactly how you should cook the sprouts on the big day.

Here’s a message inspired by something my old mentor used to remind me, when I was getting stressed about launching a course and had lost my perspective:

Click here to share on Facebook

Perfectionism is a trait that runs through many of us and rarely more so than at Christmas.

It shows itself in so many different ways, but it always has a common theme – it causes stress.

Whilst we might long to get Christmas absolutely perfect, if a few things drop off the table (metaphorically!), chances are no one will notice.

Are there any areas of your Christmas planning where you might be going a bit too far?

How about going back to basics and doing some prioritising?

What could you let go of? How much less stressed would you feel?
Surely it’s worth it?

Need some help?

Bonus: Is It Time To Revisit Your ABC?

Here’s a quick process you can use to regain perspective – click on the image to dive in now!

Click here to read your cheat sheet online.

To download it, right click here and choose ‘save as’ or similar.

I’d love to hear how you get on with this, via the comments.
If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar – and scroll down to register for a free quick reminder, so you catch each instalment – AND a gift copy of my book: 101 Ways To De-Stress Your Christmas.

I would LOVE to hear how you got on with today’s message, via the comments.
Do you have an Inner Perfectionist running at Christmas? How do you handle it?
How did the ‘cheat sheet’ help?

See you tomorrow with Day 3, when I’ll be spilling the beans on why a Fairy Tale Christmas might be the last thing you need…

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Day 1 – How One Little Word Can Instantly Buy You More Time & De-Stress Your Christmas

Articles

Day 1 – How One Little Word Can Instantly Buy You More Time & De-Stress Your Christmas

Welcome to your De-Stress Your Christmas Advent Calendar count-down! Today we’re starting with the number one mistake that most people make, which means Christmas is exhausting, rather than exhilarating.

Are you falling into the ‘Christmas Superhero’ trap?

Classic Warning Signs:

  • Having a ‘to do’ list that’s longer than a roll of toilet paper
  • Lying awake at night, remembering all the things you forgot to do today – and already worrying about the things you haven’t done tomorrow
  • Saying ‘yes’ waaaay more than you say ‘no’
  • Realising that every time the phone rings, it’s someone else asking you for help – and you say yes – again
  • Really looking forward to Christmas being over…

Here’s a Christmas answer:

You don’t have to do it all yourself.

Even Santa has elves.

If those around you seem reluctant to help, there are fun and creative ways you could persuade them to join in.

And, even if you’re a super-helpful ‘yes’ person most of the year, Christmas really is the time when you should let other people get involved.
For example, Christmas decorating can be really good fun, if you get family or friends involved. How about throwing a “cup of tea and tree decorating” party?

My next door neighbours from when I was a kid create the most incredible Christmas Grotto in every room of their house.
They have a chorus of singing, bell-ringing monks, a full-sized laughing Santa and every wall and ceiling is covered in dark blue crepe paper, with thousands of delicate silver stars.

For kids, it really is quite magical. But it takes them so long to do!
Nowadays they use it to raise money for their local charities.

But you don’t have to go that far.
If you’re stressed, don’t put yourself under pressure. Decide how much decorating you want to do, allot a time for it and enjoy it.

As for other aspects of Christmas that might be stressing you: how about taking 5 minutes to job down some key areas now where you’d secretly like some help? Don’t let your excuses about why people won’t help put you off from asking. They might just surprise you!

How could you get creative about roping in some elves?

Bonus: Want To Know How One Little Word Can Help You Find More Time This Christmas?

And if doing it all yourself is a long-term habit for you, you could do a bit of self-coaching – here’s a short video to help you with my favourite Christmas-de-stressing word.

It is a usually bonus only for my Backstage Pass members and this video is yours, as my Christmas-de-stressing gift, today. I really hope it helps you.And when you have watched it, how about letting me know via the comments:

  • What have you been saying too much ‘yes’ too?
  • Is there anything you’re going to let go of?
  • When will you next practise saying ‘no’?

Click to share your answers on Facebook

If you enjoyed this article, then here’s where you can find the rest of your Advent Calendar.

See you tomorrow with Day 2!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

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