HOW TO GET MORAL SUPPORT FOR YOUR MEDITATION TIME
Why asking for help can make all the difference.
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Hi %%FIRST_NAME%%,
How have the first four days been? Ready to go with day five? Today we’re talking moral support.
Sometimes, when we want to start a new habit, the most difficult place to get moral support is at home. Yet it can make all the difference to us when those with whom we spend the most time understand what it is we are trying to achieve – and support us on that journey.
One of the most important ways to get moral support at home (or at work, if that’s where you’re going to be meditating) is to know why you want to meditate.
Yes, we’re back to that one again! {Page 14 of your Getting Started pack}.
There was some research, a few years ago, about the impact of telling others why you want to do something.
Psychologists did an experiment in an office. In this study, somebody asked to jump to the front of a long queue for the photocopier. Most of the time the others in the queue said ‘no’. In the final experiment, the researchers got the queue jumper to use the word ‘because’ and then follow it with their reason:
“Please may I jump the queue, because…” and all they said was, “I have some photocopying to do. “
Everybody else in the queue had the same reason for standing there (unless they were just chatting!). Yet nearly everybody willingly let the person jump the queue.
It shows the power of the word ‘because’.
If you talk to your family and explain why you’re choosing to spend 10 minutes a day meditating, it will be easier for them to support you. They will be much more likely to give you the time and space you need. They are less likely to distract you and are more likely to be actively interested in what you’re up to – perhaps even joining in!
What is your ‘because’?
Knowing your ‘because’, your ‘why’ for meditating helps you ask for moral support at home or work.
You might want to explain to your family how meditation is going to help you feel calmer or happier or more relaxed. Whatever your ‘why’ was back in the ‘Getting Started’ of the welcome pack, you can share it (or a version of it) with them. It will help them understand.
We’re talking about this one over at the forum today:
What support do you need? How could you ask for it? What advice would others share?
Tell them what you need from them.
And as your family starts to see the results of your meditation practice, they’re more likely to give their support.
For example, one student on the 28 Day Meditation Challenge recently reported:
“I have been feeling so chilled out. In fact, I have just been able to quietly talk my husband out of making a very hasty and ill-judged decision, rather than huffing and puffing and telling him he’s wrong.”
Her meditation practice was already having noticeable benefits for her family.
Sometimes it can feel difficult to voice our needs – to tell others what help we want. But asking for help is essential, if we want to create a new habit that requires the support of others.
What support do you need at home / at work?
Aside: if this is something that you struggle with, then it is really worth looking into Marshall Rosenberg’s inspiring work on mind non-violent communication. He created processes to help us practise expressing our unmet needs, without creating conflict.
Perhaps you need people not to interrupt you; not to distract you; to do the washing up after dinner; to respect your choice; to be quiet for ten minutes; to remind you to do it or even to do it with you?
If there is something you need, it’s not fair to expect them to guess. You need to tell them!
If you’d like some more on this, here’s an article I have written for you: “Six Secrets For Training Your Family To Help You Meditate”.
Another person on the 28 Day Meditation Challenge online course fed back that:
“After chatting with my husband, he understands how important it is for me to have ME time. Thank you for inspiring me to ask for his help with this. It’s been very useful.”
Busy mum of young children
If you’re not sure what help you need, you could look at your excuses:
“I’d be able to meditate, if only…
or
“I can’t find time to meditate, because…”
The end of the sentence gives clues as to the support you might need.
So my questions for you today are:
What support do you want or need at home to complete the 28 Day Meditation Challenge?
What do you need to do or say to get that support?
How will you know when you have got it?
How about sharing your answers at the forum?
I hope you really enjoy today’s meditation!
Day 5 Affirmation
I ask for help and support when I need it.
Tomorrow we’re going to be talking about what to do if you miss a day… Not that it’s an invitation to do so today!
Namaste,
Clare
P.S. The key links you need for week one are:
Getting Started: http://www.28daymeditationchallenge.com/home
Week 1 Resources http://www.28daymeditationchallenge.com/home/#week1