Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker

UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author

Killing Them With Kindness – Increasing Your “HQ”

Inspirational Messages / by

Here are some thoughts about dealing with people who drive you mad! It’s based on something my Nanna used to tell me when I was a little girl – and it really works!

I’d love to know how you get on with this. Please share via the comments.

Thank you.

Love,

Clare x

  • Hi Claire,
    Thank you so much for sharing this.
    It’s incredible to read.
    Thank you!
    Love,
    Clare x

  • Thanks for this podcast, Clare.

    I just accepted your challenge, and wanted to share my experience.

    I just told my Mum over the phone that my husband and I have decided to separate. I was anxious, before the call, because I didn’t want my Mum to get upset about it. She has a tendency to be very fragile, and to have strong emotional reactions to things in my life, which I experience as her “making things in my life all about her”. Then I feel guilty and resentful that I “have” to deal with her feelings and care take her instead of being focused on me and what I’m going through.

    So I’m looking in the mirror. I’m wondering – do I get so emotional about other people’s stuff that they don’t feel secure in sharing it with me, or that they feel I’ve some how stolen their emotional space?

    I’m looking. I’m looking. I’m asking. I’m open to knowing the truth.

    The first thing that pops into my mind is an old friend of mine who was severely injured in and traumatised by the July 7th bombing on the underground. I leapt into his life with both feet and played a very convincing Florence Nightingale for months. Looking back, I know now that I “wanted in” on his bit of emotional drama and intensity.

    I don’t like this about myself.

    So – can I accept and even feel love for that part of myself? I am opening up my heart chakra. I am surrounding that image of myself back then with heart energy and warmth and breathing her in with acceptance. Now I’m visualising my Mum stood right next to me in the image. Her concern and love for me and her desire to be involved in my life is a blessing. And her need to be part of the intensity is a tendency I think I understand and share with her.

    I forgive myself for the unhealthy motives when I leapt into my friend’s drama. And I thank myself for being loving and kind to him, because I know I also helped him a lot. And I also know that I really love my Mum.

    Thanks Clare.

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