Is It Time To Deal With The #1 Life-Change Excuse, Once And For All?
Over the past decade of helping people to change their lives, there is one excuse that comes up over and over again – and I know I have used it often enough myself.
It’s the one reason that sneaks in and silently sabotages even the most well-intentioned New Year Resolutions and life-change commitments.
And, in truth, it’s the easiest objection to deal with – once you know how to spot it, tie it down and tell it where to go!
So what is the #1 life-change excuse?
“But I don’t have enough time!”
When you’re stuck in the middle of ‘doing’ your old thoughts, feelings and habits, it can feel difficult to take the time out to stand back and become aware of which bits you want to change. Yet that time will repay you, every single day, for the rest of your life.
We become so convinced by our ‘lack of time’ excuses, that there’s no room left for us to change.
Would we rather spend the next fifty years going through the pain and hurt and everything else we currently feel – and all the ‘dis-ease’ it brings with it – than dedicate a few minutes a day to making the shifts we secretly dream of?
Is it really true that our lives are too full, to find the time?
Surely much of our time is taken up by the very patterns we want to shift?
Here’s a solution:
How To Magically Create The Time To Change Your Life
It’s true that we often believe we don’t have enough time. But there’s a difference between truth and belief.
We believe our stories and excuses, because – at some unconscious level – they protect us from having to do the scary thing and actually make those changes. We tell them to ourselves so often that they become a pseudo-truth that we no longer question – like ‘received wisdom’. And because our friends and family tell themselves (and us) the same story, we even start to believe in other people’s excuses!
But is it really true?
It’s funny how, for example, if someone falls in love, they suddenly find plenty of free evenings and weekends to spend with that wonderful new person. They watch less TV; they read fewer magazines; they spend less time on the internet; they spend less time on chores – often working more efficiently; they waste less time on distractions; they use their time more intentionally; they drop anything that’s not essential.
If you can do all of that to find time for someone else, is it really so hard to find 5-10 minutes a day for yourself? To do something that could improve your life, each and every day, for the rest of your life?
There are many ‘important’ jobs and distractions during a day that steal our time; things that crop up unexpectedly, to which we give our immediate attention. Everything else falls off the table, including the time we had set aside for working on ‘ourselves’. Yet if we were to tell those distractions, “I’ll come back to you later,” it’s amazing how often they either go away or take less time.
The classic example is a phone call. You’re in the middle of something important, but you answer the phone anyway. The conversation takes ten minutes, then you go back to what you were doing. But you found the ten minutes for the interruption.
So why do we tell ourselves that it’s so hard to schedule in ten minutes to change our lives?
What would happen if you simply put the time in your diary?
How much easier would it feel to make that commitment to yourself, if you actually schedule it?
And it’s worth looking at the ‘real’ reasons behind the ‘time excuse’.
What are you worried will happen, if you do make that change?
What are you worried won’t happen any more?
If we’re really honest, if we’re still using the ‘not enough time’ excuse, then perhaps we haven’t really committed to making that change, yet?
My Top Tips For Finding More Time
- Set a time for your change practice each day – and stick to it. Treat it like an appointment.
- Be realistic. By all means set yourself a challenging goal, but break it down into achievable chunks, to fit alongside your other commitments.
- If something needs to drop off the table, to create the time you need, take action to make that happen.
- If you need moral support, ask for it! Your family, friends and colleagues might surprise you with their desire to help and support you in making those changes.
- Figure out WHY you want to make that change. Then each distraction can get weighed against the ‘big why’. It makes prioritising so much easier!
I’m curious: have you been using time as an excuse?
Is it time to stop that?
Which change could you commit to find time for – today? Please let me know, via the comments!
This is a bonus article from A Year Full Of Gratitude – join us today and discover for yourself what the excitement is about !
ouh this took me to a place of feeling guilty, especially when called to task over not being committed. I have a tendency to dabble and as I sit here getting deeper in touch with the feeling behind this tendency, I see that I am afraid of being tied down, like I’d loose my freedom and be trapped. Dabbling makes me feel like a free spirit, like no rules apply to me and ‘commitment’ seems like a ‘rule’ to me. This is my excuse, I see it now.
Wow, the resistance in me to commit is really strong which seems silly because it is only about creating gratitude in my life which is something I truly value and see as important. In fact as I write this I feel quite silly and giggle to myself and now my ‘fear’ doesn’t seem so big and scary. Hah! Am laughing out loud and feeling gratitude for this exercise. I do love my ‘free spirit’ and honour it and say, with joy, that making a commitment to creating a life full of gratitude is just what my free spirit needs and wants, that the benefits are well worth it. Thank you, Clare, for this challenge.
I know that feeling, Diane. I have often used the same reasoning to avoid diving in and committing to making those changes. 🙂
Firstly, please ditch the guilt – it’s not needed and wasn’t invited to this party. xx
Secondly, how about looking at the commitment as being a ‘moment-to-moment’ thing? “In this moment, I commit to the action I am taking on this JOURNEY of change. I am always free to choose to take this action.”
How might that shift things for you? Or others who run this pattern?
Proud of you for your authenticity and for sharing with us in this comment, Diane – and for the shifts you just made! xx Clare
Here you are talking about 5-10 minutes per day, but I was talking about the cumulative time commitment that different changes might require to be effective (like an exercise regime or eating properly by preparing our foods). I do very much agree that it is about prioritizing what is most important, and trying to make room for it in our lives, yet I also know that the constant demands of a professional life can leave us exhausted with little energy to practice the many self care strategies that we know would benefit us.