Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker

UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author

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A 60 Second Magic Wand For When Someone Is Annoying You

How To Change Your Life

Today I’d like to share with you a powerful technique that can help you to move past the annoying habits someone has, to reconnect with them, at a deeper level.

This technique isn’t for everyone. Those who are still stuck in blaming other people for making them angry or insisting that all the bad stuff in their life is someone else’s fault won’t like or want to do this.

Do you want a magic wand?
Do you want a magic wand?

But if you’re open to the idea of allowing a deeper sense of connection into your experience of life, setting yourself free from other people’s drama, then you might like to play with this.

It is a beautifully effective way of shifting your experience of life.

Ready?
The next time someone is annoying you, you might like to play with this. I suggest you experiment with minor annoyances, before you try biggies, to get the hang of it.
 

Want A 60 Second Magic Wand

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  • Take a ‘snapshot’, before you start: how are you feeling? What are you thinking? Where is the tension in your body? How do you currently want to behave towards that other person?
  • No matter how you are feeling, think three genuinely kind thoughts about the person who has been annoying you. You can do it. It might be a stretch, but you can find three kind things to think, even if it’s just something trivial, at first. (The more you practise this, the easier it is).
  • Take another snapshot, as before. What has changed?
    Now think about how you would like to respond or behave towards that other person? Notice how it has shifted?
  • If it still needs to shift some more, remind yourself that, whilst their behaviour might be unacceptable, the person underneath is still a human being, with the same kinds of fears and painful baggage as the rest of us. Then think three more kind thoughts.

Can you see how this can turn things around? And it doesn’t need to take more than a minute.

Can you imagine using it in business meetings? During a family argument? Or even when talking to yourself? 😉

Even if it doesn’t change the other person’s behaviour, it will shift your experience of interacting with them. And it will make it less likely that they will get their desired response from you – so their behaviour is more likely to change,

I’d love to hear how you get on with this technique.
Perhaps you already have a variant of it that you like to use?

If you enjoyed this post, you might want to check out our other articles on all aspects of gratitude. You could even start a gratitude jar or perhaps a gratitude journal.

Enjoy!
With love,
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Feeling Down? Why Meditation Could Be Just What You Need

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One of the things we do when we’re feeling a yucky emotion – whether it’s sadness, depression, guilt or anger, is to run from it. We resist it. We fight it. We pretend it’s not there.

And, as I often hear from meditation students, the last thing we want to do when we’re feeling down is to meditate. Who on earth would want to sit quietly and go into silence, when their mind is reminding them of all the reasons they should feel bad?

Yet, often, that’s the best thing we could do. So how could you best handle meditating, when you’re not in the mood? [Read more…] about Feeling Down? Why Meditation Could Be Just What You Need

7 Survival Tips – How To Beat The Monday Morning Blues

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“Tell me why I don’t like Mondays…”

We all know the feeling: after a great weekend, the alarm goes off and realisation dawns: it’s Monday morning. Again.

For many of us, it can trigger a sinking feeling of dread, as we take a deep breath and dive into another week.

It can go on for years, feeling stuck in a rut and unable to change anything.

But it doesn’t have to bet that way.

Here are 7 survival tips to help you beat the Monday Morning Blues.

How to survive the Monday Morning Blues?

Do you get the Monday Morning Blues?

Tip 1: Get specific
Rather than indulging in an open-ended rant about how awful Monday mornings are, it helps to get specific. What exactly is it you’re not enjoying?
Don’t be tempted to generalise – that leads to the proverbial mountain from a molehill. Being clear about specifically what is bugging you will reduce the problem to a more manageable size.

Tip 2: Time for wisdom
Remember the old saying:
“Grant me the patience to accept the things I cannot change…
… the courage to change the things I can…
… and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Tip 3: It’s up to you…
It’s up to you how much you make out of the Monday Morning Blues. Basically, if you can change things, then get active and do something about them. If you can’t, then you can always change how you choose to respond. Rather than getting wound up, stressed and frustrated, pick a different emotion – one that feels better. It’ll lift your week and that’s a promise.
Need a hand? This one should help: How to deal with difficult emotions in under five minutes.

Tip 4: Say No
Many of us end up with the Monday Morning Blues because we’re feeling overworked and undervalued. What would it take to say “no” every now and then? Not aggressively, but firmly and with compassion. How much could that change things for you?

Tip 5: Tell a new story
Do you need to tell a different story? It can be tempting to indulge in Monday Morning Whinging, but it’ll make you feel worse. Just don’t go there. How about having a Monday Morning Rule: if you can’t say something positive, say nothing?!!!
If your Monkey Mind is addicted to that old story, get a quick ‘how to’ for letting go of the story in point #1 of 3 Things You Can Do Today To Change Your Life.

Tip 6: Don’t ignore it
If Monday Morning Blues are a big issue for you, then there’s a reason for it. Ignoring them just keeps you locked in the Groundhog Day cycle. Negative emotions can be an early warning sign that you need to make changes – either in your life or in your response to it. Is there a tiny change you could make today that would help next Monday morning?

Tip 7: Say thank you
No matter how bad our Monday Morning Blues might be, there are always good things going on in our lives. How about looking for the positives and focussing on the things you enjoy about your Monday? It’s a sure-fire way to turn your Monday around and feel happier, fast.
If you’d like to dive more deeply into this one, how about joining in the fun with The Great Gratitude Challenge to discover how the simple act of saying ‘thank you’ can transform your world?

Bonus Tip 8: Start your Monday with something uplifting
How about turning things around? Mondays happen! Instead of dreading getting ready for work, how about choosing something to look forward to, instead?
What could you weave into your Monday that would make you smile? Then aim for that, instead of the bits that drag you down.

And you could keep a gratitude journal, so you could review the past week’s entries each Monday morning, to shift your mood and set your intention for the week.

What are your top tips for beating the Monday Morning Blues? We’d love to hear them – please share via the comments box, below.

x Clare
Mentor to Entrepreneurs & Passionate World-Changers

Why “Can” Is NOT The Opposite Of “Can’t”!

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There’s no such thing as “can’t”. But that doesn’t mean you can.

My great aunty Yo was famous for being a teeny bit dotty, but she had a secret that she shared generously, with all who would listen.

I remember the no such thing as can’t message being thrown back at me every time she spotted one of my excuses, as a kid. Back then, I didn’t appreciate her secret much.

What's stopping you?
What's stopping you?

Couldn’t she see? Of course I couldn’t do xyz…

Then, as I got older, I started to understand. She wasn’t trying to tell me that, at 5’2″ tall, there was nothing stopping me from being an Olympic high jumper.

She just wanted me to see the blindingly obvious truth:

“I can’t” was my excuse for anything I didn’t want to do – or didn’t believe I could do.

At a gentle level, she was helping me to learn that there are only two things that were ever going to get in my way:

1. What I believe is possible.
2. What I choose to do / not to do.

For so many of us who are used to positive thinking and all its friends, you might think that the fix for this one is to replace “can’t” with “can”. But it doesn’t work…

If we have invested time and effort into creating a belief that we can’t do something, simply picking the positive affirmation that we ‘can’ do it doesn’t change that belief. Instead, it sets up an internal conflict:

Our thinking mind says yes. Our unconscious mind (which runs the show, by the way), says no.

All that is likely to happen is that you’ll feel frustrated and miserable. If you try it out now on a “can’t” belief, you’ll most likely notice that it causes physical tension, too.

So what’s the answer?

Maybe. Perhaps. Might.

Think of that “can’t” belief. Instead of forcing in a “can”, try softening things with…

“Perhaps I might…”

Can you feel the difference? You’re opening up the possibility – gently and without creating resistance. Then, as your old belief dissolves, ‘maybe’ will naturally shift into ‘probably’, soon to become a ‘can’.

Isn’t that a kinder way of making changes in your life?

Got an opinion on this one? We’d love to hear your views via the comments box!

Discover 5 Secrets To Feeling Happier, Fast!

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“Discover 5 Secrets To Feeling Happier, Fast!” is designed to give you a happiness lift, in minutes, not weeks.

5 Secrets To Feeling Happier, Fast!It doesn’t pretend to be the definitive guide to happiness.

In fact, if you’re feeling in need of a happiness boost, books and courses that take weeks or months to apply are the last thing you need.

These 5 strategies are proven to be highly effective in helping you shift from feeling down to feeling happy – and they can deliver results in minutes.

But they’re not just ‘quick fixes’.

They are techniques you can use every day, to consistently raise your mood. And the amazing thing about applying them regularly is that, when they start to become a habit, you’ll notice you automatically feel happier, most of the time.

This book is quick to read – being 25 pages long – but it’s a powerful antidote to the modern stresses of busy life.

And all for less than the price of a coffee. Grab the Kindle version now and you could be feeling happier in less than 5 minutes.

So, are you ready to Discover 5 Secrets To Feeling Happier, Fast?

Feeling Angry? Why There’s No Need To Feel Guilty!

How To Change Your Life

It’s OK to get angry.

Not a message you hear very often, particularly if you’re into ‘personal development’.

But just imagine a life without emotions…

I don’t know about you, but back in the days when I was deep in the corporate rat race, I was fortunate (?) enough to be sent on any number of courses to help me learn how to suppress my emotions. This was supposed to lead me to a state of inner calm that could never be shaken, no matter how stressful things got or how much I yearned to fight the system.

Fortunately it didn’t work. Why do I say fortunately? Because emotions are such an essential part of life.

Just ask anyone who is taking medication, to reduce their emotions. The drugs numb out the good emotions, along with the less desirable ones, and people often describe it as existing, rather than living. [Read more…] about Feeling Angry? Why There’s No Need To Feel Guilty!

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