Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker

UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author

Inspirational Messages

7 Survival Tips – How To Beat The Monday Morning Blues

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“Tell me why I don’t like Mondays…”

We all know the feeling: after a great weekend, the alarm goes off and realisation dawns: it’s Monday morning. Again.

For many of us, it can trigger a sinking feeling of dread, as we take a deep breath and dive into another week.

It can go on for years, feeling stuck in a rut and unable to change anything.

But it doesn’t have to bet that way.

Here are 7 survival tips to help you beat the Monday Morning Blues.

How to survive the Monday Morning Blues?

Do you get the Monday Morning Blues?

Tip 1: Get specific
Rather than indulging in an open-ended rant about how awful Monday mornings are, it helps to get specific. What exactly is it you’re not enjoying?
Don’t be tempted to generalise – that leads to the proverbial mountain from a molehill. Being clear about specifically what is bugging you will reduce the problem to a more manageable size.

Tip 2: Time for wisdom
Remember the old saying:
“Grant me the patience to accept the things I cannot change…
… the courage to change the things I can…
… and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Tip 3: It’s up to you…
It’s up to you how much you make out of the Monday Morning Blues. Basically, if you can change things, then get active and do something about them. If you can’t, then you can always change how you choose to respond. Rather than getting wound up, stressed and frustrated, pick a different emotion – one that feels better. It’ll lift your week and that’s a promise.
Need a hand? This one should help: How to deal with difficult emotions in under five minutes.

Tip 4: Say No
Many of us end up with the Monday Morning Blues because we’re feeling overworked and undervalued. What would it take to say “no” every now and then? Not aggressively, but firmly and with compassion. How much could that change things for you?

Tip 5: Tell a new story
Do you need to tell a different story? It can be tempting to indulge in Monday Morning Whinging, but it’ll make you feel worse. Just don’t go there. How about having a Monday Morning Rule: if you can’t say something positive, say nothing?!!!
If your Monkey Mind is addicted to that old story, get a quick ‘how to’ for letting go of the story in point #1 of 3 Things You Can Do Today To Change Your Life.

Tip 6: Don’t ignore it
If Monday Morning Blues are a big issue for you, then there’s a reason for it. Ignoring them just keeps you locked in the Groundhog Day cycle. Negative emotions can be an early warning sign that you need to make changes – either in your life or in your response to it. Is there a tiny change you could make today that would help next Monday morning?

Tip 7: Say thank you
No matter how bad our Monday Morning Blues might be, there are always good things going on in our lives. How about looking for the positives and focussing on the things you enjoy about your Monday? It’s a sure-fire way to turn your Monday around and feel happier, fast.
If you’d like to dive more deeply into this one, how about joining in the fun with The Great Gratitude Challenge to discover how the simple act of saying ‘thank you’ can transform your world?

Bonus Tip 8: Start your Monday with something uplifting
How about turning things around? Mondays happen! Instead of dreading getting ready for work, how about choosing something to look forward to, instead?
What could you weave into your Monday that would make you smile? Then aim for that, instead of the bits that drag you down.

And you could keep a gratitude journal, so you could review the past week’s entries each Monday morning, to shift your mood and set your intention for the week.

What are your top tips for beating the Monday Morning Blues? We’d love to hear them – please share via the comments box, below.

x Clare
Mentor to Entrepreneurs & Passionate World-Changers

Why “Can” Is NOT The Opposite Of “Can’t”!

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There’s no such thing as “can’t”. But that doesn’t mean you can.

My great aunty Yo was famous for being a teeny bit dotty, but she had a secret that she shared generously, with all who would listen.

I remember the no such thing as can’t message being thrown back at me every time she spotted one of my excuses, as a kid. Back then, I didn’t appreciate her secret much.

What's stopping you?
What's stopping you?

Couldn’t she see? Of course I couldn’t do xyz…

Then, as I got older, I started to understand. She wasn’t trying to tell me that, at 5’2″ tall, there was nothing stopping me from being an Olympic high jumper.

She just wanted me to see the blindingly obvious truth:

“I can’t” was my excuse for anything I didn’t want to do – or didn’t believe I could do.

At a gentle level, she was helping me to learn that there are only two things that were ever going to get in my way:

1. What I believe is possible.
2. What I choose to do / not to do.

For so many of us who are used to positive thinking and all its friends, you might think that the fix for this one is to replace “can’t” with “can”. But it doesn’t work…

If we have invested time and effort into creating a belief that we can’t do something, simply picking the positive affirmation that we ‘can’ do it doesn’t change that belief. Instead, it sets up an internal conflict:

Our thinking mind says yes. Our unconscious mind (which runs the show, by the way), says no.

All that is likely to happen is that you’ll feel frustrated and miserable. If you try it out now on a “can’t” belief, you’ll most likely notice that it causes physical tension, too.

So what’s the answer?

Maybe. Perhaps. Might.

Think of that “can’t” belief. Instead of forcing in a “can”, try softening things with…

“Perhaps I might…”

Can you feel the difference? You’re opening up the possibility – gently and without creating resistance. Then, as your old belief dissolves, ‘maybe’ will naturally shift into ‘probably’, soon to become a ‘can’.

Isn’t that a kinder way of making changes in your life?

Got an opinion on this one? We’d love to hear your views via the comments box!

Time To Stop Feeding Your ‘Monkey Mind’?

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Have you ever noticed how much we all love telling stories? I’m not talking Jackanory here – we’re much more subtle.

Our ‘monkey mind’ (the part of us that does the running commentary, whatever we’re doing) is rarely off-duty and relishes a little drama. It believes that life without our own personal soap opera would be about as exciting as Christmas without the cranberry sauce.

Is it time to stop feeding your monkey mind?
Is it time to stop feeding your monkey mind?

And the thing is that the monkey mind is far from being a neutral observer. It much prefers to pass comment on everything that’s going on, feeding the currently-favoured emotion like bellows on an open fire.

And I had a lovely reminder of this a little while ago. [Read more…] about Time To Stop Feeding Your ‘Monkey Mind’?

Have Our Kids Forgotten How To Play?

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In a world where technology was supposed to make our lives simpler, we seem to be busier than ever.

Have our kids forgotten how to play?
Have our kids forgotten how to play?

And our kids are far from immune to the onslaught of stuff to do.

A recent study by Ofcom, published by the BBC, showed that adults are spending a shocking 3.8 hours watching television – EVERY DAY.

Add to that their use of computers, games and mobile phones and the figure goes even higher.

And children aren’t far behind.

In another recent survey by TV channel Eden, 2000 children were asked some pretty basic questions about the “outside world”.

The most shocking statistic was the fact that 64% of children play outside less than once a week.

There is a growing body of evidence that children need time outdoors – in nature – preferably without adults interfering.

Psychologists are now proving what we have instinctively known for generations:

Creative play, outdoors in nature, is an essential part of childhood.

Yet most of our kids end up being ferried from one after-school activity to the next, before being nagged into doing their homework and shipped off to bed, often with a good dose of TV or MySpace in the mix.

“Nature is a tool,” says Stephen Moss, naturalist, broadcaster and author, “to get children to experience not just the wider world, but themselves.” So climbing a tree, he says, is about “learning how to take responsibility for yourself, and how – crucially – to measure risk for yourself. Falling out of a tree is a very good lesson in risk and reward.”

So why are we so scared of our children playing?

In my son’s kindergarten class, his teacher regularly reminds me that children act out – and resolve – their stresses, tensions and fears through creative play.

Without play, they are at risk of shutting down their emotions and ending up with the issues I see in my mentoring clients every week.

But allowing children to play creatively is often challenging for us parents, in our super-hectic lives where supreme-multi-tasking and constant running on adrenalin is the only recipe that allows us to get everything done.

The simple fact is that, if we want our children to grow up happy and confident, laid back yet effective, then we need to lead by example.

We need to learn how to let go – to be, instead of always doing.

Perhaps we need to remember how to play?

And have fun?

Then our children would learn that it’s ok not to always be doing stuff – it’s ok to be, to play, to connect with nature.

Perhaps it’s not the children who have forgotten how to play, but us, their parents?

What are your thoughts? What would your suggestions be, based on these research studies?

We would love to hear from you, via the comments box!

If you’d like to experience life from the perspective of ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’, then check out some of the other mindfulness articles on this website – and you might find that the 28 Day Meditation Challenge online course really helps, too.

10 Minute Belly Breathing Meditation For Kids

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Just 10 minutes a day of meditation or deep relaxation can make a profound difference for a child.

It can help them concentrate, relax, get things into perspective and even feel happier, more grounded and more positive.

If a doctor could give children a pill to do all that, most parents would be tempted to use it.

But meditation & mindfulness don’t need a prescription; it’s completely free and has no negative side effects!

So how about giving this one a go today? [Read more…] about 10 Minute Belly Breathing Meditation For Kids

The Great Raisin Experiment – Mindfulness

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Being mindful is about a state of being – a particular way of choosing to experience life, in the present moment – rather than letting our mind run riot over past mistakes and future worries, whilst sleep-walking through what’s actually going on around us.

As you can no doubt imagine, this is a handy skill to develop.

Here’s more about What Is Mindfulness.

 

Raisin Mindfulness Experiment

Experimenting with a simple raisin (or other small piece of dried fruit) can help us get back into the present moment.

Most of us eat raisins by grabbing a handful, throwing them in our mouth and giving them a quick munch before swallowing. This next raisin is going to be a quite different experience!

 

  1. Grab a raisin – just one – or a similar dried fruit, if raisins aren’t your thing.
  2. Sit comfortably.
  3. It’s time to wrap your senses round your raisin. Look at it. Really see it. What do you notice? Can you see its texture? What about the bumps and lumps? Is it shiny?
  4. Have a sniff. What does it smell like? Let your fingertips really feel the shape and texture. Allow yourself to become fully absorbed in the experience.
  5. If your mind wanders during this experience, just allow it to be gently guided back to your raisin.
  6. After a few minutes, pop the raisin in your mouth – but it’s not time to chew yet! Spend a little while focussing on what it feels like in your mouth, with your tongue and your teeth.
  7. Then, when you’re ready, take a bite. Have a good chew. Notice the full experience of the raisin’s flavour – how it builds in your mouth. How incredibly sweet it is.
  8. When you have swallowed the raisin, you’ll notice you can still taste it for a while.

How did this experience compare to your usual raisin-munching experience?

Chances are it was much more vivid.

Did you notice things you wouldn’t normally notice?

Did you enjoy it more?

What have you learned about how being mindful – aware, in the present moment – can impact your experience of eating a raisin?

How could you take these learnings and apply them elsewhere in your life?

We’d love to hear about your experiences, via the comments box below.
P.S. If you’d like to experience more mindfulness techniques and discover how ten minutes a day can change your life, you might want to join in with the 28 Day Meditation Challenge.

 

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