Inspirational Messages Archives ~ Page 22 of 29 ~ Clare Josa

Do You Need To De-Stress?

Are you stressed out? Running around, doing too much, finding it hard to switch off?

If you’re finding it tough to relax but secretly know your body – and mind – are craving a refresh, you might like to try doing a deep relaxation.

“Just relax!” Easy to say. But how do you do it?

If your mind is racing, it can be really hard to relax and that’s why many people find it easier to work with a guided relaxation on CD or audio, so that someone else talks you through the relaxation process.

Did you know…?

Did you know that deep relaxation is best achieved by going through the body in a certain order and then working with the mind? There are specialist techniques you can use to achieve a relaxed, calm and de-stressed state quickly and easily.

Want An Expert To Guide You Through The Process?

Due to popular demand, we have now recorded one of our deep relaxations as an MP3 file for you to download. You can listen to it on your computer, your MP3 player or burn it to a CD and relax, whenever you want to.

It takes you, step by step, through a physical relaxation process, then a mind relaxation process, to help you get to a place of inner calm- no matter how stressed you are currently feeling.

In just 20 minutes, it will leave you feeling more relaxed, peaceful, less stressed and more energised.

You can listen to it at any point during the day – or last thing at night, before falling asleep. Just make sure you NEVER listen to it whilst driving or doing any other, obvious, activity during which being deeply relaxed might be a bad idea… Sorry – we have to mention that disclaimer!

Fact: doing a deep relaxation before going to sleep will improve the quality of your sleep and reduce stress-related night-waking.

Fact: doing a regular deep relaxation can improve your health.

Fact: doing a daily deep relaxation will increase your energy levels, leaving you feeling more vital and alert.

The deep relaxation is led by Clare Josa, who is a formally trained meditation teacher, who is also an expert in using NLP-based specialist language techniques to help you relax easily and deeply at an unconscious level.

We chose NOT to use the “traditional” new age, tinkly background music on this track, because many people find it off-putting. So what you’re getting is pure, deep relaxation.

If you would like to give it a go, you can download this Deep Relaxtion MP3 now, as our gift (it’s usually £6.99).

What Are You Trying To Control?

Inspirational Messages

Are you a control freak? Perhaps even the teeniest little bit? Most of us don’t like to admit it… I used to be an expert in “Control Theory”. Nowadays I’m studying much more about letting go of control. Would you like to find out why going with the flow can literally set you free?

Back in my Uni days, I studied something called “Control Theory”. (My degree was Mechanical Engineering, but this one sounded like something straight out of a psychology text book.) And, though I never quite understood why, I was very good at it.

Anyway, “Control Theory” was about how two (or more) related systems behave together – and how to set it up so that one controls the other. And how to predict how this interaction will behave, under certain circumstances. Sound familiar?

I remember very little about the subject now (apologies to my former lecturer), but I do remember it was about taking a “real world” scenario, turning it into a representation of that scenario, using mathematics, then being able to predict what the “output” would be, given various “inputs”.

There were very specific rules and expectations for how the systems would behave and I remember the aim was to simplify your model, as far as you could, removing any unpredictability or “noise”.

The other thing I remember about these mathematical “maps of the world” was that there was always this elusive thing called “gain”. You put something in, you turned up the gain, you got something else – even better – out.

Several decades on (ahem, not spilling those beans, thank you!), I have found that “Control Theory” bears a striking resemblence to “real life”.

In order to try to make sense of the world, we simplify our model of things – making assumptions about how things really are.

Then, because we tend to feel more comfortable when we can predict the outcome, we go for our own, personal version of control theory.

Most of us have figured out that by doing a particular thing a particular way, we get the outcome we wanted.

We like to feel we are in control.

In fact, much of the stress-related illness that is so rampant these days has its roots in us feeling out of control.
Yet needing to control everything can be completely exhausting, which also makes you ill.

[See Is Being In Control Wearing You Out?]

Feeling out of control causes emotional, mental and even physiological symptoms. It’s as though we feel we have to be in control, otherwise something terrible will happen. We develop all sorts of coping strategies, to help us stay in control, no matter what happens. And if we lose control, we can end up freaking out.

The funny thing is that very little of what we try to control is actually within our control.

Usually we’re trying to control:

Our kids
Our partner
Our home / work environment
Friends / family / co-workers
The weather!

But none of these things are actually in our power to control. Sure, we can influence them, but actually controlling how others behave is impossible. So, instead, we resort to highly effective tools like guilt, coersion, persuasion and even near-bulllying-tactics, to get the outcome we want.

Why do we do this? What’s the “gain” for us?

We get the predictable outcome that we wanted. We feel safe. Life “makes sense”.

The weird thing is that, whilst spending all this exhausting time and effort, trying to control things outside of ourselves, we put very little effort into controlling ourselves.

We let our thoughts run rampant.
We feel victim to our emotions.
Life “happens to us”.
Inner peace is – apparently – only for the deluded.
It’s “not our fault” – “we can’t help it”.

We abdicate the entire responsibility for our happiness onto how those around us behave.

If we stop and think about that for a minute, that’s really scary.

You made me angry ~ How did they force you to feel angry?

If you do that, I’ll feel happy ~ So you’re choosing not to feel happy, if they don’t do that?

If it’s sunny on Sunday, we’ll have a lovely afternoon ~ Are you choosing to have a bad afternoon, if it’s not sunny?

Is it really fair to make other people or external circumstances responsible for our happiness?
Isn’t that giving away our personal power?
It’s no wonder we want to try to stay in control.

But what can we do instead?

Do you remember what it felt like to trust?

What would happen if we let go a little bit? Just a teeny bit. If we trusted?

Does it really matter if someone does something differently to us, if they get the same outcome? Yes, it might take longer or there might be mistakes to learn from, but does it really matter?
Imagine what it would feel like, to be able to let go of feeling responsible for everything and everyone?

What would happen if we reclaimed our personal power?
Imagine what it would feel like, to be able to feel ok, even if someone else is behaving badly?

Over the coming weeks, I’m going to be writing a series of articles to help you move from needing to be in control, towards getting back into flow with life, feeling happier, less stressed and taking steps towards letting miracles into your life.

If that’s a journey that appeals to you, make sure you don’t miss any of the articles by bookmarking this link:

http://www.beyond-alchemy.com/tag/getting-in-flow/

Next time I’ll be writing about the hidden price of trying to stay in control and why you could be throwing away your dreams. See you then!

Is Being In Control Wearing You Out?

Inspirational Messages

I often dip into my pocket copy of the Tao Te Ching, when I want a bit of inspiration – and this morning’s verse was quite apt.

I woke up at 6 a.m., having got to sleep at 1 a.m. and been woken by my 2 year-old at 3 a.m., ready for my first coffee of the day.

Feeling exhausted has been a common theme for me – not just the “I need a good night’s sleep” kind of tired, but really, deep down exhausted.

And over the years, I’ve realised I’ve been pretty good at feeling tired. In fact, I was just 21 when feeling “Tired All The Time” (TATT – don’t you love it?!) got me into researching alternative therapies, starting with aromatherapy.

But, whatever I have tried -and I’ve tried the lot – nothing has shifted the general, underlying exhaustion.

It has been a constant companion through every life upheaval I have created over the last few decades!

And I know I’m not alone in this. I suspect a large number of you reading this are nodding, knowingly. Or planning to suggest even more alternatives that I’ve not yet tried. 😉

Last week I decided that enough was finally enough. There are so many things that I’m here to do, feeling exhausted no longer fits with my game plan. (Though it has been a great excuse for avoiding so much over the years!).

So, dipping into the Tao, at random, this morning, I wasn’t at all surprised by the lines I read:

To seek control is to create dis-stress.
To create dis-stress produces exhaustion.

How many of us are running this pattern?

By trying to control the world around us, the events that are out of our hands, the people who – outrageously – have their own minds and do as they please, we are using up phenomenal amounts of energy. We are exhausting ourselves. And feeling miserable into the bargain.

Tomorrow, I’ll be writing some more about what we can do instead.

In the meantime, I invite you to ponder those lines from the Tao today – and see where they take you. I suspect that answers – and change – are on the way.

Here’s to feeling bouncily full of vibrant energy!

With love,
Clare x

3 Great Ways To Let Your Past Ruin Your Future!

Inspirational Messages

Letting our past get in the way of our future is something we’re pretty good at doing, even though we might not realise it.
Our past has this great way of keeping us stuck, limited and miserable.
It’s all too easy to let our past sabbotage our present – and our future.
Now, I’m sure that’s not a pattern you’d want to be running… But just in case, here’s how I used to do it!
Here are 3 great traps we can all fall into…

Trap 1: I can’t do it!
This is a great belief that our past creates for us. Usually we use evidence of past failed attempts to support this one. So, if something goes wrong, we pick up the conviction that we can’t and won’t ever be able to get a different result.

Whether you think you, or you think you can’t, you’re right. ~ Henry Ford

The problem with this trap is that it’s based on the assumption that things never change – we don’t change, our environment doesn’t change, the circumstances never change. But that’s simply not true.

What’s the alternative?
Question it! Ask yourself: “What could I do instead / do differently to get the result I want?” Is it really true that you can’t do it? Or are you just scared? Are there some skills you might benefit from developing? Would a coach or mentor help you break through your blocks? As my slightly potty but strangely wise great aunt used to say, “There’s no such thing as can’t.”

Trap 2: I can’t help it!
This one is often followed by the lament of “That’s who / how I am!”…
It’s a great way of staying stuck in a situation that you don’t really want.
It’s about playing the victim – you’re not in control. You can’t influence. You don’t have any say in the matter. You’re certainly not responsible for any of it…

What’s the alternative?
Do you really want things to stay the way they are? Or is it possible you could find even just a tiny aspect of the situation that you could change? There’s got to be something you can influence – even if it’s just your response? No one’s saying it’s easy, but it’s got to be better than staying stuck where you don’t want to be, hasn’t it?

Trap 3: But I have to / should / ought to…
This is usually from childhood conditioning. My four-year-old often says to me “But I want to do what I want to do!” When we’re young, we know what that is and we do our best to do it!

But as we “grow up”, we learn what is expected of us and place more importance on that than on our own desires, to some extent sacrificing our own free will.

This builds up resentment and guilt, which is a great way of limiting our potential. We can easily end up feeling miserable and even bitter.

What’s The Alternative?
It’s the difference between feeling obligated and feeling free.
The secret is that we might not be able to choose what has to be done, but we can always choose how we feel about it.
Here’s a quick fix:

Ask yourself: is it really a thing you need to do?
If no, then consider not doing it!
If yes, then choose to do it.

Change your mantra.
Instead of “I have to…” “I must…” “I ought to…” “I should…”
Play with “I want to…” “I choose to…” “I would like to…”
And notice how much better you feel.

Are you ready to let go of the past and get on with living in the here and now?

3 Sure-Fire Techniques For Giving Your Day An Instant Lift – Part Three

Inspirational Messages

In parts one and of our 3 sure-fire techniques to giving your day an instant lift, we covered why it’s so important not to let a negative mood spiral out of control and become a dangerous habit. Plus we let you in on the secret of two techniques for giving your day an instant lift.

If you missed part one, you’ll find it here: part one.
If you missed part two, you’ll find it here: part two.

In this mini-series we’re bringing you 3 ways you can lift your mood in less than 60 seconds, which has got to be worth a try, hasn’t it?
In part three, we’re bringing you one of my favourit mood lifters. Are you ready yet? [Read more…] about 3 Sure-Fire Techniques For Giving Your Day An Instant Lift – Part Three

3 Sure-Fire Techniques For Giving Your Day An Instant Lift – Part Two

Inspirational Messages

In part one of our 3 sure-fire techniques to giving your day an instant lift, we covered why it’s so important not to let a negative mood spiral out of control and become a dangerous habit. If you missed part one, you’ll find it here: part one.
In this mini-series we’re bringing you 3 ways you can lift your mood in less than 60 seconds, which has got to be worth a try, hasn’t it?
In part two, we’re bringing you one of my favourite mood lifters. Are you ready yet? [Read more…] about 3 Sure-Fire Techniques For Giving Your Day An Instant Lift – Part Two

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