Do you ever get the feeling that you’re drowning? Drowning under ‘too much to do’? Drowning under ‘too much to remember’? Drowning under ‘which advice to believe’?
Is there a solution? Or is it just an inevitable consequence of modern life?
[Read more…] about Are You Suffering From The 21st Century Epidemic?
Whose Pain Is It Anyway?
“All criticism is borne of someone else’s pain.”
Native American Indian saying
Sometimes people do stuff that’s really unacceptable.
Yes, there’s a sliding scale so ‘unacceptable’, but it’s still not ok.
It’s our tendency to retaliate in some way – perhaps by behaving unkindly or even doing something nasty to them. It’s easy to hold resentments and grudges and to allow those to colour our exoerience of relating with that person. We can direct all sorts of painful emotions towards them and even stay awake half the night, replaying the movie of how terrible their actions were.
But there’s a difference between the person and their actions – a person is not their behaviour.
The behaviour – the actions – are the outwards appearance of the person. What is deep down inside, the essence of that person, is different from their actions. At some level, they are running the same kinds of auto-pilot responses that we do. At some level, they just want to be happy, just like us.
Deep down, most people (no matter how bad their behaviour) are just muddling their way through life, without much of an instruction manual, just like us. Their choices about their behaviour might be pants, but that doesn’t make them a bad person – any more than it would make us a bad person, when we make bad choices.
So there is a difference between the person and their behaviour – the actor and the actions.
Like actors in a play, what we show the outside world isn’t necessarily the truth of who we really are, but is a script – a series of behaviours – that can change.
When we remember that, we can set ourselves free from much of the pain. We create a space between their action and our response, which can allow us to choose a response for the long-term higher good, rather than short-term retaliation.
It’s a challenging mindset shift, but it gives you back your personal power and helps you to be less impacted by others’ actions.
And it’s the key to cultivating compassion, if that’s what you choose to do.
Namaste,
Clare
P.S. I really hope this article has helped you. It’s a bonus article from my ‘Let Your Light Shine‘ programme.
If you have been on the receiving end of someone’s criticism, or if you’re keeping yourself stuck dreaming big, but playing small, then it’s time for you to Let Your Light Shine.
This is a beautiful 5 day online course to help you set yourself free from the fear of ‘Haters’ and ‘Trolls’, so you can get on with making a difference in the world. With a smile on your face! xx Clare
Does It Pass The Woolly Jumper Test?
“If someone gives you feedback, try it on for size, before you believe it.”
Most of us have a tendency to be rather free and generous with our opinions – even when it comes to giving feedback to others about their performance, behaviour, beliefs, values or lifestyle.
When we’re on the receiving end of that ‘feedback’, it can be tough to know how to handle it. Whether we respect the other person’s opinion or not, it can easily bypass our usual rational filters and find its way into the ‘this is true’ part of our brain. So if someone tells us something negative, we can take it on board, believe it and – worst of all – let it cloud our future actions and decisions.
Many years ago, I remember someone telling me that you find life much easier, if you treat other people’s opinions like a woolly jumper:
Try it on for size. If it fits, accept it and choose whether you want to do anything about it. If it doesn’t fit, let it go and move on.
(Remember: all criticism is borne of someone else’s pain – from last week? http://pinterest.com/pin/263601384409748875/)
How different might life be, if we could all apply the ‘woolly jumper test’ to other people’s criticism of us?
Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter.
Namaste,
Clare
P.S. This mini-article is taken from Daily Sunshine.
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How To Deal With Difficult Emotions In Under 5 Minutes
We all know have those moments where a difficult emotion comes up for us. Sometimes it can seem to hang around for hours – or even days. But what most of us don’t realise is that we have a choice over how we experience our emotions. And, rather than being a passive victim to them, there are simple techniques we can use, to gently release them and then deal with the root cause. And it can be done in under five minutes.
Want to find out more? [Read more…] about How To Deal With Difficult Emotions In Under 5 Minutes
3 Essential Steps To Make That New Habit Stick
We all know the scenario – we desperately want to make changes but, no matter how hard we try, we find ourself slipping back to our old habits. What’s going on with this? Why does it all go wrong? How come it’s so hard to create a new habit?
Discover the 3 essential steps to make a new habit stick, along with the single reason why we usually fail.
[Read more…] about 3 Essential Steps To Make That New Habit Stick
Seth Godin: Tribes – Is It Time For You To Change The World?
Seth Godin has a unique way of cutting through the fluff and clutter, to present his inspirational message in a way you can take action on – fast.
And ‘Tribes‘ is no exception.
What ‘Tribes’ isn’t:
This isn’t a ‘how to’ book. It’s not going to take you, step by step, holding your hand through process that Seth would recommend. It does far more than that.
What ‘Tribes’ is:
Tribes is a book that kicks your butt to step up and move into your personal Dharma – your service. It helps you see through the excuses and fears that have kept you from living your dream and your passion; that have kept you playing small.
Most of us have been ‘sleepwalking’ through life (Seth calls it ‘sheepwalking’!).
We have a dream. We know we’re here to ‘do something’. We know, deep down, that we want to change the world. But we’re so stuck in the ‘old ways of thinking’, that we’ll reach our deathbed, without ever taking action.
Our biggest regrets will always be the things we didn’t do, rather than the risks we chose to take.
This book helps you realise that you are here to live and breathe your passion – and that you can do that starting today – no more excuses. He then helps you figure out the importance of your tribe – those who are ready to hear your message. And those people are out there, today, waiting for you, even if they don’t know it yet.
You don’t have to be a manager; you don’t have to be an entreprener; you don’t have to have a position of authority – your tribe is waiting for you. They already share your interests and they’re waiting for someone with passion and courage to help them see how they can change things.
As I said, this book isn’t a ‘how to’ guide.
Instead, Seth takes each of your limiting beliefs and fears and busts them.
The simple act of reading this book – and trying his ideas on for size – has the potential to change your life. It has the potential to inspire you to become the leader of your tribe, to release your fears, to break out of your comfort zone and to initiate change.
Once you’re there, the ‘how’ will find you.
Are you ready to break free from sheep-like behaviour and step into your life’s purpose?
I know it’s scary. I know it can seem difficult. I know it could be outside of your comfort zone. But it’s time. That inner voice, calling you, is getting louder and louder.
Don’t wait till it has to scream at you.
It’s time to make a start.
And sharing the journey with others can make the difference between a ‘nice idea’ and living the life of your dreams.
Want to take a teeny first step?
Join our Ripple Effect group on The Transformation Club today (it’s free!) and connect with others who are leaving the world of ‘sheepiness’ behind them.