Articles Archives ~ Page 36 of 51 ~ Clare Josa

Where are you looking for your sunshine?

“Seeking happiness outside ourselves is like waiting for sunshine in a cave facing north.“

Tibetan saying

One of the most difficult habits to break is that of looking for happiness outside ourselves.

It might be expecting someone else to behave in a certain way, so we can feel happy. It might be thinking we’ll feel happier when we’ve got the new car, the promotion, the bigger house, the new dress.

The problem?

None of these things are within our control.

And if our happiness depends on something outside of us, then it’s easily shattered.

The other problem?

By waiting for something or someone else to do something or be someone that we can’t influence, then we’re putting ourselves in the position of victim – a passive experiencer of life.

The answer?

The only way we can truly feel happy is to put ourselves back in a position of active choice.

Whatever our circumstances, whatever our environment, whatever happens, the only thing we can impact is how we choose to respond.

And that’s where we can choose to feel happier – in every moment, with every thought, with every breath, with every word.

Our happiness is there inside us, waiting for us to let it out to play!

Got comments on this one? How about sharing via the comments box, below?

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Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter.

Namaste,

Clare

7 Musings On Self-Esteem

Inspirational Messages

Self-esteem is the cornerstone for feeling happier. Without it, any happiness we experience will usually be dependent on things we can’t control – like how others behave and what goes on in the world around us.

But nobody teaches us how to have self-esteem. So how do we go about getting some?

Strengthening our sense of self-worth can often be a challenging journey. We’re trying to break habits we’ve been developing since our early years.

So, to help along the way, and hopefully provide some inspiration, here are 7 of my favourite musings on self-esteem.

“How you treat yourself is how others will treat you.“

If you don’t look after yourself, the outside world will spot it – and make assumptions about how you want to be treated. “Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you,” might make a good motto?

“No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent.“ Eleanor Roosevelt.

I throw this one back at myself, every time I catch myself grumbling about something someone else has said or done to upset me – and it works! It’s about taking back your personal power and accepting responsibility for how you feel.

“Only you can make the decision on how bad you’re going to feel.“

And while we’re on the topic of choosing how we feel, we’re the only ones who can decide how deep that trough goes!

“All criticism is borne of someone else’s pain.“ Native American saying.

If someone has a go at you, it’s because they’re hurting inside and don’t want to face it. Think about it, when we’re in a happy mood, full of sunshine and smiles, we don’t go around criticising others, do we? So that’s a great excuse not to take it personally…

“Don’t bother waiting for others to respect you.“

If you wait for others to respect you, you’ll have a long wait. People pick up a lack of self-respect just like a dog can sniff out fear. And it’s tough to earn others’ respect if you haven’t yet given it to yourself yet.

“Forgiveness is the key to feeling good.“

Holding on to resentment and anger keeps you trapped in the pattern of negative emotions that leaves you feeling bad. Forgiving the other person for their behaviour doesn’t mean letting them off. It’s about setting yourself free from the pain and moving on. And remember, the last one we get round to forgiving is ourself.

“Self-respect is about acting with integrity.“

It’s not about how you look, how clever you are or how great your job is. Self-respect is about being able to fall asleep at night with a clear conscience; knowing you have acted with integrity, kindness and compassion during your day; knowing you were true to who you really are.

What are your top tips and secret strategies for self-esteem? How about sharing them via the comments box, below?

And if you enjoy short-n-sweet inspirational quotes, you might like to get hold of our free Daily Sunshine emails.

What’s Your Story?

Inspirational Messages

I love this quote – it sums us humans up so well!

“Why is it I feel no one really knows me, until they know my story?”

Joan Tollifson

So much of our identity is built up around our story. Who are we? What has happened to us? What are our war wounds and badges of honour?
But that’s not who we really are. That’s who we used to be.
And the amazing thing is that every day we get to start anew and re-write our story.
Are there any edits you’d like to make today?

Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter.

Namaste,

Clare

P.S. Joan’s book “Bare-Bones Meditation – waking up from the story of my life” is well worth a read, if this quote resonated for you 😉

10 Happiness Secrets From A 4 Year-Old

How To Change Your Life

If you want to feel happier, sometimes it can be best to go back to basics and learn from those around us who seem happiest. In my life, that’s probably my 4 year old.

He seems to have happiness pretty much sussed.

We often believe that wisdom comes with age. But sometimes the years cause us to forget what’s really important, as we get bogged down in the details of how to worry, stress and feel grumpy. We can focus so much on teaching our kids the things we think we know, that we can forget how much they have to teach us.

So, just in case you’re up for remembering how to feel happier, here are 10 happiness secrets that my wee one would like to share with us “grown ups”!

Following Your Bliss – Are You Suffering From "Should-itus"?

How To Change Your Life

How do most of us spend the day?

Probably doing the same old, same old. Following the routine. Stuck on the treadmill of obligation and habit. Waiting for the day when things will finally change. But what if there were another way? How would it be if we could be free to follow our dreams – follow our bliss?

Instead of waiting for life to “happen to us”, thinking “I’ll be happy, when…” (fill in your personal “when” here!), how would it be if we could turn things around, right here? Right now?

Well, consider this your official kick up the butt.

Let’s zip forward a few years. Let’s imagine it’s your 80th birthday party.

You’re surrounded by those you love.

There’s a great bit cake and a real party atmosphere.

As you look around you, as the 80-year-old you, you take a moment to look back at your life – at the choices you made. You’re looking at the types of thoughts you had, the ways you acted, the decisions – big and small.

Knowing what you know as the 80-year-old you, what advice would you give the person sitting back in the here and now…?

I’m guessing it probably wouldn’t be to work harder, but perhaps to play harder.
It probably wouldn’t be to follow the rules more, but to follow your heart.
It probably wouldn’t be to keep doing things you hate, but to find things to do that you love.

Well? How about it? What’s stopping you?

Here are the usual culprits that prevent us from living our bliss:

Fear – fear that it might go wrong. Fear of what others might think.
Comfort zone – breaking out of our comfortable status quo means the vast majority of people live a life that is way below their potential for love, happiness and joy.
Expectations – we usually choose to behave the way we think people want us to, rather than the way our heart tells us is right.
We feel we don’t deserve it, at some level
We follow our heads, not our hearts

Whatever our personal excuse, do you really want to spend the next few decades living a half life?

Or is there even a glimmer of excitement at the prospect of being able to break free of the constraints that have been holding you back? Can you sense that there is more joy and bliss – or even just a glimmer of happiness – that’s yours for the taking?

In fact, it’s your birth right!

Whatever your religious (or non-religious) persuasion, there’s no law out there that says you can’t feel as much happiness as could possibly be squeezed into a human body!

We all arrive on this planet with a heart full of dreams and a driven sense of purpose.

As we grow up, we learn to forget about all this and do what we think is expected of us, rather than follow our dreams.

Are You Suffering From “Should-itus”?

Words like “should”, “ought to” and “have to” are all classic symptoms of what I call “should-itus” – the early warning sign that we’re following our head, not our heart.

With a mild case of should-itus, there’s just a general feeling of dis-ease. You’re generally ok and happy, but you’re aware that something is missing.

As should-itus progresses, the symptoms get stronger. The sense of dis-ease increases and the knowing that something is missing gets stronger.
Then we squash it with avoidance tactics – and eventually addictive behaviours. These range from “little” things like sugar, chocolate, caffeine or Facebook 😉 to narcotics, exercise addictions and other behaviours that can destroy our self-esteem and relationships.

As we grow up, we can see, deep down, that most people are just “ok”. Raising your hand and yelling to the world that you want more than “ok” is often frowned upon. We don’t want to stand out from the crowd. So we put up with feeling “ok, but mildly dissatisfied” and get on with life.

After all, who are we to aim for a more joyful life experience?

It simply doesn’t have to be that way!!!!!

The sad thing is that most of us aren’t ready to even admit there might be a path of bliss for us to follow.

And I send masses of love to those still in that very painful place.

But if you’re even a teeny bit ready to turn around and see that there’s another way to live your life, then I’m sending out a massive cheer and huge hugs to celebrate!

Are you ready to make a start on the simple changes that could transform your life?
Are you ready to head out towards a life that’s fulfilling, filled with love, light, laughter and sunshine?
Are you ready to take total responsibility for every thought, feeling and action you take?

Then welcome to the ride!

Following your bliss isn’t about throwing away everything that’s important to you about your life.

It’s about making subtle, yet powerful, changes to how we experience the life we already have. Then we can make tweaks to duck out of the stuff that ‘s not working for us and bring in more of what we love.

Would You Like A Helping Hand?

Over the coming days, weeks and months, I’m going to be blogging about following your bliss, sharing the practical steps you can take to move towards the life you deserve.

We’re going to be talking about topics including:

How do we know what your bliss is? And what is bliss anyway?
How do we move towards our bliss?
How do we handle the stuff that drags us down?
How on earth do we get a grip on the stream of negative thoughts we have every day?
How do we release the blocks that have been holding us back from following our bliss?

And if you’re already on your journey towards following your bliss, how about sharing your top tips and advice via the comments box below?

I can’t wait to hear from you!

With love,

Clare x

Whose Sunshine Are You Stealing?

Inspirational Messages

Today’s Daily Sunshine quote comes from Julia Moss Seton:

“We have no more right to put our discordant states of mind into the lives of those around us and rob them of their sunshine and brightness then we have to enter their houses and steal their silverware.“

How often do we accidentally end up spreading storm clouds, rather than sunshine?

It’s so easy to do.

And we usually do it without noticing.

After all, if you’re feeling grumpy, the last thing on your mind is how your mood is impacting others.

A stormy mood is more contagious than a dose of ‘flu.

How can you stop yourself from stealing someone else’s sunshine?

It’s not about moving house to Pollyanna’s world and feeling happy all the time. It’s about becoming more aware of our impact on others.
When we see how our mood impacts those around us, we are in a better position to choose whether to spread storm clouds or sunshine.

Finding it hard to manage your moods? Meditation is a fab place to start. We blog about it a lot here! Here are some useful meditation resources.

How can you stop someone else from stealing your sunshine?

If we spot someone else trying to do this to us, we can always choose not to allow them!
It’s that simple.
If you feel your mood being dragged down by those around you, you could move away from the situation or – if that’s not practical – you could put up a mental protective barrier, that won’t allow their storm clouds through.

How we feel is up to us.

What are your favourite strategies for spreading sunshine rather than storm clouds? I’d love to hear your thoughts via the comments box!