Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker

UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author

Articles

Does Giving Up Coffee Make You Happier?

How To Change Your Life

I was famous for my coffee habit. We’re talking 20 mile detours in the Rocky Mountains to get a latte and taking a stove-top espresso machine camping.

And I was famous for how good my coffee was – freshly ground organic Colombian beans, brewed just right, with no one refusing a second mug.

It was safe to say I love the stuff.

Then, a while ago, I decided to do something silly – give up coffee. Why? To see what would happen and whether giving up coffee would make me feel happier.

I expected the initial withdrawal symptoms – caffeine headaches and energy slumps, plus the usual detox symptoms. But after that I had hoped my energy levels would bounce back and I’d start feeling healthier, happier and generally better for being off the stuff.

The thing is that it didn’t quite work out that way!

I managed to avoid most of the detox symptoms by drinking lots of water and fresh juices, but the energy slump went on and on and the negative impact on my mood was unexpected.

I had read plenty of research that says caffeine (and other coffee ingredients) can be bad for your mood.

For me, it was the other way round.

Absence of coffee was bad for my mood.

The coffee cravings took a full 6 weeks to go – and I didn’t even cheat a teeny bit.

And for most of that time, I felt grumpy and miserable, because I was denying myself something I really loved.

“Go back on the coffee, then!” I hear you cry.

It’s not as simple as that. Coffee was an addiction for me. But my need for it wasn’t physical, it was psychological.

Coffee was tied into an emotional need – like a “badge of honour” whenever things were stressful.

The thing is:
“If we want to break a habit, it’s essential to look at why we had the habit in the first place, not just what the habit is.”

 

We have to deal with the need that the habit was satisfying, otherwise we’re just entering into a battle of willpower. And, chances are, the need will resurface with a new addiction to a different substance or behaviour.

Once you have worked that out – and dealt with it – then the habit will naturally fall away. Then you’re free to choose.

And feeling free is a vital pivot point on your journey towards feeling happier.

 

There’s more on coffee and other foods that can wreck your mood in my book “How To Be Happy“. In it, I share 5 Insider Secrets that you can use – today – to feel happier, fast.

I’m currently giving it away free to members of my gorgeous Soul-Sized Living Tribe, but I’m not sure how long I’ll be doing this for.

So if you’d like to grab your copy, register (free!) today. xx

 

Want Some ‘How-To’ Inspiration?

Here’s a video from my Soul-Sized Wednesdays Q&A series that helps you out with the whole ‘secondary gain’ thing. In it, I share with you a fabulously effective and amazingly easy strategy you can use to make change stick – whatever you are looking to shift in your life. All in about 5 minutes. You won’t want to miss it:

Enjoy!

And when you have watched it, I’d love to hear how you get on with this technique ~ via the comments box below.

How about letting me know which change you most want to make right now?

And perhaps how you are going to use the techniques in this video to help?

And what your first steps are going to be?

Share The Love!

And, if this video helps you, please share it far and wide through your Facebook and Twitter and Google+ networks. 🙂 Big Love! Mwah!
 

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig


P.S. If you’d like to make sure you catch each new episode of Soul-Sized Wednesdays, how about signing up for my weekly Soul-Sized Living updates? It’s free!

An Emotional Rollercoaster: 7 Musings On Motherhood

Inspirational Messages

If there’s only one truth about becoming a mum, it’s that it changes your life – forever.

The ante-natal classes just don’t do justice to that fact. They talk about lack of sleep, changing nappies and how to “burp” your baby, but rarely do they mention the highs and lows, the tough bits and the amazing bits of motherhood.

So, after a mere 4 years of being on this particular rollercoaster, here are 7 musings on motherhood – and how to feel happier while you’re at it!

[Read more…] about An Emotional Rollercoaster: 7 Musings On Motherhood

7 Survival Tips – How To Beat The Monday Morning Blues

How To Change Your Life

“Tell me why I don’t like Mondays…”

We all know the feeling: after a great weekend, the alarm goes off and realisation dawns: it’s Monday morning. Again.

For many of us, it can trigger a sinking feeling of dread, as we take a deep breath and dive into another week.

Do you get the Monday Morning Blues?
Do you get the Monday Morning Blues?

It can go on for years, feeling stuck in a rut and unable to change anything.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Here are 7 survival tips to help you beat the Monday Morning Blues. [Read more…] about 7 Survival Tips – How To Beat The Monday Morning Blues

Are You Too Much Of A Historian?

Inspirational Messages

When it comes to planning the future, most of us are historians.

We all know how it works.

“How are you?”

“Oh, you know… It was a tough weekend and then I had some really tricky stuff to do at work this week and my boss is always a nightmare, so I guess I’m pretty tired.”

It starts with little things. Someone asks us how we are and the answer we actually give is how we have been, not how we are now. What’s wrong with that? It keeps us in the cycle of how things used to be, throwing away any chance of changing them.

We “tell it how it is” – or even worse – “tell it how it was”.

And then we build in another layer – I call it the “I’ll feel happy when…” syndrome.

“I’ll feel happy when I get the job / relationship / payrise / car / home…”

It’s like happiness is a job we’re always putting off to some unspecified time in the future.

We find ourselves repeating the same patterns of behaviour, the same relationship cycles, the same mistakes.

When we worry about how the future might be, based on how the past was, we’re potentially throwing away any chance to make things different next time. We’re experts on our past – historians, analysing where it all went wrong. But that can keep us trapped with things we can’t change, missing out on the chance to steer things in a new direction.

“Worrying is a way of creating a future you don’t really want.”

The problem is simple:

Most of us are too busy being historians to deliberately plan and create our future.

Imagine a life where we actually learn from the past, history doesn’t repeat itself and we move towards our dreams? Imagine finding yourself where you want to be, more often than where you used to be?

Seven Steps To Turning Things Around

[Read more…] about Are You Too Much Of A Historian?

When Did You Last Wash Your Car?

Inspirational Messages

Is your car spick and span, gleaming its way along the road, recently polished with everything tidily arranged and within easy reach?

Or is it like mine can be – several months past needing its last wash, two-toned with mud and a mass of kids’ snack crumbs, discarded odd socks (the kids again, honest) and random pieces of mail strewn across the footwells?

And why should you care?

All of us have a messy car from time to time, but did you know it tells the world more about you than you might realise?

The way we look after our car is a mirror to how we are feeling

A mind that is calm and happy will create an environment very different to one that is stressed and overwhelmed.

When did you last wash your car?
When did you last wash your car?

For most of us, this shows as clutter on the passenger seat and the need for an overdue wash and wax. It’s all too easy to get into a cycle of neglect.

But things can reach extremes

I had a situation a few months ago where I was trying to do too much with too little time or support. Sure enough, it showed in my car. She (yes, she) was covered in mud from the winter weather, her interior was full of junk and, quite frankly, had I been asked to give anyone a lift, I’d have felt mortified.

It came to a head one lunchtime when I was picking my son up from Kindergarten. I had passed the fuel station, seeing my fuel light on, thinking “it’s only another 10 back to home – I’ll be fine.” Sure enough, on the return trip, I was going up a steep hill and ran out of fuel, grinding to a complete halt on a high speed road. The police had to come to push the car to safety, while I skulked my way to the petrol station to buy an emergency fuel cannister. Now that was mortifying.

But what did it say about me? The message was clear. I wasn’t looking after myself and I was running on empty. Literally.

The quote “as within, so without” comes from ancient wisdom and one of its meanings is that our internal world is reflected in our external reality.

So if we’re looking after something personal, such as our car, keeping it clean, tidy and well-serviced, then we’re probably doing the same to ourselves. Neglecting our car shows we’re likely to be neglecting ourselves. And the same goes for our home, our office or even our appearance. It shows that, at some deeper level, we don’t care.

What can you do?

The biggest step towards turning things around is to be aware of the problem. If you’re neglecting yourself, it will show in your surroundings.

Human nature means we often find it difficult to nurture ourselves. The great news is that “as within, so without” works both ways.

So if you want to turn things around, start by looking after your car – or your bedroom or wherever you’re neglecting on the inside. Turning this into a new routine will produce the side-effect that your “as within” will change, too. You’ll automatically start taking care of your body, your emotions and your mind, which will help you feel more positive.

Results can be fast.

It’s not about suddenly adding a weekly car clean and wax to your “to do” list. It’s much easier than that. Simply keeping your home free of clutter and finishing off the little jobs you start will give your unconscious mind the clear message that things are changing – for the better.

And once you’re into the habit of looking after your outside world, you might be surprised how quickly you think of ways to look after the “inside” you.

Remember: your inner and outer worlds are reflections of each other. You only need to make changes in one of them to impact them both.

And if you’d like some quick fixes, there are some great, easy techniques you can apply right now, to start feeling happier and less stressed in under 5 minutes.

Claim your copy of “5 Secrets To Feeling Happier Now” by going to http://www.howtofeelhappier.com and registering for our monthly “Inspirations” ezine. You’ll find the boxes in the top right hand corner.

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