Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker
UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author
It’s amazingly easy to put off changing your life.
It can feel like we have to wait to find the ‘right’ seminar or read the ‘right’ book or search out the ‘right’ guru.
But there are 3 simple things you could do today, to make shifts in your life. And they all take less than 5 minutes.
Interested?
[Read more…] about 3 Things You Could Do In 5 Minutes To Change Your Life Today
You get home from work and almost before your coat is off and the keys are hung up, the radio is on.
You go to a friend’s for coffee and the TV is on in the background.
You sit in your car and give in to an almost physical need to tune in to your favourite station or listen to some music.
What’s going on? [Read more…] about Why Are We So Scared Of Silence?
I remember this one from years ago, when I was studying to become an NLP Trainer. I still remember how I reacted to first hearing it, too. So I invite you to bear with me on this one, before you pick up those rotten tomatoes to lob my way 😉
The difference between fear and excitement is about 2 inches.
OK, for some people it can be 5 inches, but the idea is the same.
What on earth am I talking about?
We feel every emotion at a point in our body. For most of us, we experience the physical sensation of fear and nervousness in the stomach area. Our language describes it as the ‘pit of my stomach’ or having a ‘gut instinct’ about something. And for most of us, excitement is pretty close by. We describe it as butterflies in our stomach. Many of us experience fear – and excitement – as affecting our digestive system. Since emotions are chemical reactions in our body, they are inextricably linked with our physical experience.
The difference between the location of fear and the location of excitement is about 2-5 inches. Often (but not for everyone), fear is about 2 inches lower than excitement.
Please bear in mind that I’m talking about the kind of fear we feel when we have a big project or challenge or change to work on – the type that stops us from doing what we really want to do or say – rather than the ‘Watch out – there’s a sabre-toothed tiger over there and he’s looking hungry’ variety.
The great news is:
While our Monkey Mind is telling stories of ‘scared’ and ‘anxious’, we can shift the emotion to ‘anticipation’ and even ‘excitement’ by working with the body.
So if there’s something you want to achieve, or a dream you want to turn into reality, there’s no need to fight your Monkey Mind. instead you can play with this technique:
Use the power of your intention to move that feeling of ‘scared’ or ‘nervous’ physically into excitement.
- Think about something who’s want to do that you feel nervous or apprehensive about – we’re looking for a 3 out of 10 – no biggies here, and certainly no anxiety attack-scale fears! We’re just playing with the technique.
- Notice where in your stomach area (most likely) you feel that emotion. Take a moment to connect with the physical sensation.
- Then imagine you are moving it a few inches higher up your body.
- Notice what happens. What happens to the emotions that you feel? What happens to the thoughts you are thinking?
For most of us, this simple technique is enough to turn apprehension into anticipation. And from anticipation, it’s a much smaller step to a sense of bubbling excitement.
Moving from fear to excitement doesn’t just make us feel better – it shifts our focus away from problems and towards potential solutions. And it improves our performance at whatever that task is.
The more you play with this, the easier it becomes, until you find it’s an instinctive reaction and life becomes much less serious. It becomes more exciting, fun and playful.
Is there a situation in your life where you could play with this technique today? I’d love to hear how you get on, via the comments box!
And if you want to deal with the secret triggers for our mind-story fears, you’ll love the strategies in my book Ditching Imposter Syndrome. You can find out more and get your copy here.
“An excuse isn’t real – it’s nothing more than a thought that you have had a bit more often than is helpful.”
Neuroscientists have proven that a thought we think regularly becomes hard-wired in our mind. Like a well-trodden footpath, it is easier and quicker for our mind to follow that path than a pathway that is newly-forged and still quite overgrown.
An excuse is a thought we have had often enough that it becomes a well-worn path and we no longer just think it; we believe it. Once we believe it, it becomes a filter in our unconscious mind for our experience of life. It has earned a place in our repertoire of auto-pilot programmes for life.
But an excuse isn’t real. It isn’t something we can pick up and hold or wrap up in a bow, no matter how solid, real and true it might feel to us.
It is no different to all the other neural pathways in our brain.
NOT using Pollyanna-style positive affirmations.
To change an excuse (belief), you need to create a new neural pathway in your mind by choosing another thought to believe, and then walk that pathway regularly.
Our unconscious mind will have chosen that old belief / excuse carefully and – at some level – deliberately, to protect us from something. It is pretty convinced of the truth of it. So simply telling it that it is wrong by reciting the opposite belief (the ‘Pollyanna’ approach) is likely to meet with considerable resistance and require major willpower to produce any kind of results.
Think about a time when someone tries to sell you something. If they try by telling you that you are wrong and they are right, what happens? How does that feel? Which emotions come up for you? Are you more or less likely to believe them and then buy into their idea?
So why would you use that approach with your unconscious mind? After all, you’re trying to sell it the idea that the old excuse is ready for an upgrade…
If your belief is along the lines of “I’m not able to do this,” the likelihood of your mind welcoming a ‘counter-belief’ of, “I AM able to do this,” is pretty low (unless you have hard evidence).
What can you do instead?
Instead of directly contradicting your unconscious mind – and setting off its ego warning alarm – you’re much more likely to see success if you start thinking about possibilities.
For example:
“I wonder if I could do this…”
Or
“What would it feel like / how would I act, if I could do it?”
Or
“Perhaps I could do this, after all?”
Your first job is simply to open the door to thinking that things might be possible, rather than beating yourself up about the old excuse.
Creating new thoughts in the form of possibilities or questions reduces your mind’s natural resistance to change and makes it more likely that you will choose a thought that sits comfortably for you – that is potentially believable – and that you will think more often.
Is there something you want to do or a change you want to make, where your excuses have been getting in the way?
Which new thought could you think about it, that would start to turn your ship around and steer it towards its new course? Think that thought a few times. How does it feel? Do you need to tweak the thought? You can change it whenever you want. In fact, changing it regularly (to become wider, more expansive and more open to possibilities) will prevent it from ever restricting you in the future.
Then all you need to do is to cover your home / office / inside of your eyelids with post-it’s and other types of reminder to tread the new pathway!
Remember: each and every thought you have creates a pathway in your mind or reinforces an existing pathway. Choose those pathways with care – and love. They create the ‘future you’.
You can choose your thoughts. All it takes is conscious effort. It isn’t difficult and it doesn’t hurt, but it does require choice. And the bonus is that it can change your experience of life.
Which new pathways might you choose to walk today?
If you experiment with this technique, I’d love to hear how you get on. Please let me know by commenting on this post. If you have found this article helpful, how about sharing it with your friends, perhaps via Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest?
Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter.
Namaste,
Clare
Here’s a quick bonus article for you, from today’s Daily Sunshine email – we’re talking about how change needs to start with your thoughts.
“You won’t change your future if you keep thinking today’s thoughts.”
Our thoughts act like tiny messengers to the Universe, telling it and our unconscious mind what we want – and what we believe is possible.
If we have a dream or vision and regularly think thoughts about it being achievable, then it is likely to come to us.
But if we spend our time thinking about how it is unrealistic and unachievable – or difficult and we are not worthy of it – then that is what our future will hold.
Remember: our beliefs are like filters for what we see ‘out there’. If we believe something will be difficult, then we’ll spot the evidence that supports this. If we believe that something will flow and fall into place, then those are the opportunities and synchronicities that we will see.
So if you have been aiming towards a dream or vision, but finding progress is slow and hard, then it’s time to take a peek at those pesky thoughts, to see if they’re holding things back.
How do you spot what those thoughts and beliefs are?
There’s a simple way of telling. Complete the following sentence:
“I haven’t achieved my dream yet, because…”
The ‘because’ bit holds the key to the limiting beliefs, fears and prevailing thoughts that are holding you back – they’re also known as our ‘excuses’…
How do you handle these?
The easiest place to start is asking yourself the question:
“Is it really true…?”
… or is it just an excuse or a fear?
Once you have the answer to this, it puts you in a position to choose a thought that moves you closer to your dream. And you can choose your thoughts. It just takes practice (and a quieter mind helps, too! Need help with that? There’s always the 28 Day Meditation Challenge 😉 )
Wishing you a day full of sunshine and laughter.
Namaste,
Clare
P.S. Like Daily Sunshine? Please share it with your friends.
With love from The Little Book Of Daily Sunshine: www.DailySunshine.com
Arthur Boorman is a war veteran who was told he would never walk again.
He could have believed the doctors. In fact, for a while he did.
But then he found someone who helped him to believe in himself. And his life changed forever. Miracles happened. Arthur’s story is so inspirational that I had to share it with you.
“Just because I can’t do it today, doesn’t mean I’m not going to be able to do it some day.”
Arthur Boorman
How often do we let our excuses get in the way of turning our dreams into reality?
I invite you to watch the full 5 minutes of this video. Then…. see below the video…
Once you have watched the full 5 minutes of this video, how about reviewing your personal excuses. How ‘real’ are they? Really? Time to let them go?
“Never underestimate what you can accomplish, when you believe in yourself.”
Arthur Boorman
Arthur isn’t a superhero (though he’s inspirational). He doesn’t have super powers. He doesn’t have a magic wand. In most ways, he’s just like you and me. But he did have 3 things, that helped him to transform his life:
He was inspired to take action. Inspiration is like that match that lights the fire within us, to get started.
He was motivated to find out what steps he needed to take, to transform his life.
He was dedicated enough to keep going, even when it was difficult.
The result? Well, the video says it all.
So, having watched it, how are your old excuses doing? Fancy sharing via the comments box, below?
P.S. This article is brought to you by Daily Sunshine.
