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Are You Wasting Your Time, Trying To Meditate?

Inspirational Messages

My meditation master once told a story about a stressed executive, who came to him wanting to learn how to meditate.

It didn’t take long to see that the guy couldn’t sit still.

From his finger twitching and body fidgeting, you could see that his mind was racing.

The bags under his eyes told tales of stress-filled, sleepless nights.

If anyone ever needed to tap into the de-stressing benefits of relaxation, this guy was a prime candidate.

But my meditation master turned him away.

“Why on earth would you do that?” we asked him, a stunned class of trainee meditation teachers.

His smile shone gently as he explained.

Meditation is about so much more than just sitting still, closing your eyes and expecting to stumble across inner peace.

It is a three-stage process which, like learning to drive a car or play a musical instrument, takes dedication and practice.

Stage 1: Relaxation

Until you can relax your body and your mind, meditation is nearly impossible. Youl’ll be sitting there, desperately uncomfortable after the first few minutes, totally pre-occupied by your shopping list or last night’s television.

You simply won’t be able to sit still!

Being deeply relaxed is about completely relaxing your body, whilst keeping your mind alert. If you nod off, you’re asleep, not relaxed! Relaxation is also about acceptance – accepting your environment, accepting your body (with all its aches and pains) and accepting your mind (even if it’s chattering away!). Only when you are deeply relaxed will you be able to start to meditate.

If you need help with deep relaxation, you might find this useful: Finding Your Inner Stillpoint – Deep Relaxation CD / MP3.

Stage 2: Concentration

Until your mind can keep its attention concentrated on one thing for a period of time, you’ll find it extremely difficult not to be constantly distracted by other thoughts. Meditating isn’t about “emptying your mind” and “thinking of nothing”.

It’s about allow any thoughts to drift past, without stealing your attention. In concentration, we bring our attention inside, to allow us to move towards reconnecting with who we really are, rather than the external, ego-based world we usually inhabit.

Concentration exercises, such as candle gazing and physical awareness exercises, can help the majority of us who have very poor concentration skills!

Stage 3: Focus

Once you are deeply relaxed and able to concentrate, you will be able to focus on the practices you have chosen, leading you into meditation.

This is where your awareness can really expand and you start to experience the happiness and sense of inner peace that regular meditators achieve.

So my meditation master had turned this man away, because he didn’t want his prospective student to waste time and effort, trying to meditate, when he was still completely unable to relax. After a full twelve months of practicing deep relaxation, which can itself be life-changing, the student returned to become an excellent meditator.

If you have tried meditation and haven’t got the results you were hoping for, then the foundation stages might be missing. It’s well worth finding an experienced meditation teacher to guide you through the process. And you might like to make sure you’re asking them the 10 questions you should ask, BEFORE going to a mediation class.

And the video on the right explains why finding a good class and a good teacher can make such a difference. In fact, it would have prevented me from spending 15 years thinking I was meditating, when I wasn’t! 😉

If you can’t make it to a local class, you might like to check out the 28 Day Meditation Challenge. It’s like a ‘virtual local meditation course’, helping you create a strong meditation habit – no matter how busy your life is. Plus you get access to an online forum, where you can get moral support and answers to your meditation and mindfulness questions.

What have your experiences with meditation been so far?

What would your top tips be to help someone who is learning how to meditate?

We’d love to hear from you via the comments box!

Five Danger Signs That It’s Time For A TV Diet?

Inspirational Messages

After sleeping, most people spend the largest block of their day “relaxing” in front of a television set.

We’re already feeling overloaded and stressed out and we convince ourselves that an evening of television will help.

Is television making you miserable?

Here are 5 television myths – all danger signs that warn you might benefit from a TV diet.

Myth #1: “TV is harmless”

These days only the bad news seems to get reported – usually with plenty of hype. Then we’ve got the overload of crime dramas, full of gory details that are intended to shock and scare. Add to that the general level of negativity in many soap operas and it’s easy to feel wound up after an evening of TV watching.

Why on earth would we choose to spend hours a day doing something that leaves us feeling miserable, tense, stressed and even angry?

Myth #2: “But TV helps me relax”

Slumping in front of the TV is about “zoning out”, zombie-like, not relaxing.

Research has shown that watching television can cause our metabolic rate to drop even lower than if we were just resting, which has implications for long-term health and weight problems.

When I was studying to become a meditation teacher, we were regularly taught what relaxation really means. It’s about relaxing the body and mind, whilst staying alert. And it’s a process that takes effort and concentration.

How many times have you tried to talk to someone who is transfixed by a programme, only to realise they are completely unaware of you. That’s not relaxation, that’s being in a trance-like state.

Doing a deep relaxation helps you relax in just 10 minutes much more than a whole evening of TV.

Myth #3: “I Wouldn’t Know What Else To Do With The Evening”

Life without TV is so boring, isn't it? — Life without TV is so boring, isn’t it?

We are all so used to sitting in front of the TV that the thought of doing something different can send us into a state of panic.

So, instead, think about the things you love doing – the kind of stuff that feeds your soul.

When they can’t watch TV, people say they love singing, dancing, reading, walks in nature, massages, cooking, eating with friends and family, gardening, exercising, playing with their kids, talking with their partner and the list goes on.

But if we’re spending our evenings in front of the television, that leaves so much less time for the things that really bring us pleasure and recharge our batteries.

So putting yourself on a TV diet could be a great way of clearing the back-log on your “to do” list and creating space for the things you enjoy most, leaving you less stressed and more energised.

Myth #4: “But won’t I get out of touch?”

If you want to know what’s going on in the news, set aside time every few days to catch the headlines on a reputable online news service. If the news affects you, it’s worth avoiding the radio news too. By reading it online, you can pick and choose which articles you read and aren’t bombarded with as much negativity.

As for other programmes, it’s up to you. If you know they’re getting you down, you’ll have to make a choice between feeling down, but knowing what was going on in them, or feeling happy and not being involved.

Myth #5: “I can’t give it up”

How about keeping a log – for a week – of the programmes you watch and how your mood is afterwards? Do you feel happy, cheerful, relaxed, irritated, frustrated, bored, angry? Do you even remember what the programme was about?

Then avoid things that make you feel bad.

If you really feel you can’t give up TV, even just for a few weeks, then make sure you become a conscious consumer. Just as we watch what goes into our food, so we need to be aware of the other things we consume – what we read, watch and listen to.

The Effects Of A TV Diet

You’ll feel happier, because you’re not taking in as much unfiltered negativity.
You’ll have more energy, because you’ll be more active.
You’ll feel less stressed, because you’ll be getting more done and your “to do” list will feel manageable.
You’ll enjoy life more, because you’ll be deliberately spending time doing things you love doing.
Your relationships will improve, because you’ll be spending time together communicating, rather than just slumped in front of the TV.

Only you can decide how much of a role you want television to play in your life. My invitation to you is to become a conscious consumer, choosing what to watch, and enjoying life to the full in every moment that the TV is turned off. A great recipe for happiness.

I’m curious: what are your views on all this? Any insights? Any questions? How about sharing via the comments box, below?

Wishing you sunshine and laughter, today and always,
Clare

P.S. Looking for something to do with your new-found TV-free time? How about joining in with our private online community: Soul-Sized Living? It’s free and it might just change your life 🙂

Do You Need To De-Stress?

Inspirational Messages

Are you stressed out? Running around, doing too much, finding it hard to switch off?

If you’re finding it tough to relax but secretly know your body – and mind – are craving a refresh, you might like to try doing a deep relaxation.

“Just relax!” Easy to say. But how do you do it?

If your mind is racing, it can be really hard to relax and that’s why many people find it easier to work with a guided relaxation on CD or audio, so that someone else talks you through the relaxation process.

Did you know…?

Did you know that deep relaxation is best achieved by going through the body in a certain order and then working with the mind? There are specialist techniques you can use to achieve a relaxed, calm and de-stressed state quickly and easily.

Want An Expert To Guide You Through The Process?

Due to popular demand, we have now recorded one of our deep relaxations as an MP3 file for you to download. You can listen to it on your computer, your MP3 player or burn it to a CD and relax, whenever you want to.

It takes you, step by step, through a physical relaxation process, then a mind relaxation process, to help you get to a place of inner calm- no matter how stressed you are currently feeling.

In just 20 minutes, it will leave you feeling more relaxed, peaceful, less stressed and more energised.

You can listen to it at any point during the day – or last thing at night, before falling asleep. Just make sure you NEVER listen to it whilst driving or doing any other, obvious, activity during which being deeply relaxed might be a bad idea… Sorry – we have to mention that disclaimer!

Fact: doing a deep relaxation before going to sleep will improve the quality of your sleep and reduce stress-related night-waking.

Fact: doing a regular deep relaxation can improve your health.

Fact: doing a daily deep relaxation will increase your energy levels, leaving you feeling more vital and alert.

The deep relaxation is led by Clare Josa, who is a formally trained meditation teacher, who is also an expert in using NLP-based specialist language techniques to help you relax easily and deeply at an unconscious level.

We chose NOT to use the “traditional” new age, tinkly background music on this track, because many people find it off-putting. So what you’re getting is pure, deep relaxation.

If you would like to give it a go, you can download this Deep Relaxtion MP3 now, as our gift (it’s usually £6.99).

One To One Mentoring For Businesses

One-to-one mentoring can be an essential business tool.

If you have a member of your team who could use some extra support and working with an internal company coach isn’t appropriate, then an external mentor could be what you’re looking for.

Who Needs Mentoring?

It varies.

Sometimes it might be an employee who isn’t performing to their full potential.
Sometimes it’s a member of staff who is at risk of performance management, but you know they just need impartial help to change.
Sometimes it’s a senior manager who wants someone neutral to work things through with.

What Is Mentoring?

It’s Not Like Counselling.

You don’t have to trawl through all the painful memories, retelling the stories, experiencing the emotions. Instead you go straight for the underlying cause and release any beliefs, behaviours or thought patterns that have been holding you back from being who you really are.

In fact, if you suspect your team member just wants someone to listen and isn’t ready to change yet, then they’d be better off seeing a counsellor, instead.

It’s More Than Coaching.
All our mentors are qualified to work at a much deeper level than conventional coaching.

By dealing with the underlying causes, mentoring can have a dramatic impact. Fast.

Clients can turn things around in as little as 3-5 sessions.

Also, our mentors have all held senior management positions in industry, so they bring a realistic approach to their interactions with clients and understand the needs of businesses.

Mentoring is a way of taking a shortcut to making the changes you want in your life.

By working with a mentor, an employee can:

identify the changes they want to make
get clear about why they want to make them
stay motivated, even if hurdles come up
break through barriers that may have blocked them in the past
actually enjoy the experience of changing, moving towards the future

A mentor doesn’t tell you what to do. Instead they use a wide variety of techniques to help you uncover the solutions that will work best for you.

How Is Mentoring Structured?

After an initial, no-charge telephone consultation, it is usual to pre-book 3-5 sessions, which must be used within six moonths, depending on the desired outcome. This is long enough to make concrete progress and it helps you prove to yourself that you are serious about making the changes you want to see.

Sessions can either be face to face or by telephone – or a combination. They are always on a one-to-one basis.

You will normally have a session every 2-4 weeks and will also receive email support in between your sessions. If something comes up and you need to book an extra telephone or face-to-face appointment between your usual mentoring sessions, then we will always do our best to be flexible.

Who Is My Mentoring With?

Clare Josa is a certified Trainer of NLP and an experienced professional Mentor. She is a published author and a Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher, as well as a Language & Behaviour Profiling Consultant. She specialises in helping people figure out what they really want and break through the blocks that have been holding them back.

Her background in mechanical engineering and then market research, at senior management level, means she brings a practical, common sense approach to mentoring.

She can tailor a wide variety of techniques to help people break free from limiting thought patterns, behaviours and (dare we say it???) excuses that may have blocked them in the past. Above all, she makes sure her clients are comfortable with all the tools she uses during the sessions, so they can take them away to use at any point in the future; not just during the sessions together.

You can read Clare Josa’s full bio here.

What’s The Investment?

We usually suggest that a new client has a 2 hour face-to-face session with Clare Josa at the beginning of a mentoring programme, to allow the client to go deeply into what they want to achieve and make concrete progress. This is then followed by a series of face-to-face or Skype sessions.

A mentoring programme can include email and Skype support between sessions. If the mentor and client agree it necessary, it is sometimes better to add in an additional, formal session if a complex issue has arisen.

Please contact us to discuss your needs and arrange a no-obligation initial session so we can provide a quotation.

Want To Book Sessions For Yourself Or A Team Member?

You can call Clare Josa and our office on (UK +44) 020 8798 0903 or use the contact form, below, and a relevant member of our team will get back to you within 48 hours.

We look forward to hearing from you.

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Can You Afford Not To Relax?

Inspirational Messages

Do you think you don’t have time to relax?

I know what you mean.

Life is so hectic, with stress flying in all directions, that the thought of taking 10 or 20 minutes out to relax seems like madness.

Yet it’s a proven fact that:

A relaxed mind is a creative mind.

So if you’ve got a to-do list as long as your arm, perhaps the best thing you could do would be to start off with 20 minutes of deep relaxation.

It might seem strange, but spending that 20 minutes will actually buy you more time.

10 Ways To Feel Less Stressed In Under 10 Minutes

How To Change Your Life

These days feeling stressed seems to be a way of life. Yet regular stress is playing havoc with our health, careers and even our closest relationships.

If you don’t want to end up just another super-stressed statistic, then the good news is that you can do something about it.

Discover the top 10 secrets to feeling less stressed – in under 10 minutes.

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Search Results for: meditation

Did you know…?

Want An Expert To Guide You Through The Process?

Who Needs Mentoring?

What Is Mentoring?

How Is Mentoring Structured?

Who Is My Mentoring With?

What’s The Investment?

Want To Book Sessions For Yourself Or A Team Member?