How many times do I hear it? “I don’t have time to change my life!” Whether it’s from clients, students, my family or even that voice in my head, lack of time is the most common excuse for not making changes in our lives. But what if I told you that it’s not true; that it’s just an excuse? And that changing your life doesn’t need to take any longer than drinking a cup of tea? [Read more…] about Think You Don’t Have Time To Change Your Life? It’s Time To Think Again…
Are You Fed Up With Feeling Tired All The Time?
People often ask me how I get so much done – running a business, with 3 youngs boys and a small-holding to manage. I’ve got a secret to share about how I do it. And it’s time for a confession, too… [Read more…] about Are You Fed Up With Feeling Tired All The Time?
Fed Up Of Thinking Negative Thoughts? How To Use Gratitude As A Magic Wand For Positive Thinking (In Less Than A Minute A Day!)
Today I’d like to share with you a simple, yet profound, quote from Marcus Aurelius. For me, it sums up why I’m sharing the Miracle of Gratitude journey with you:
“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”
I remember a dear friend, about a decade ago, asking me how on earth she could shift her thoughts from negative to positive, when she had spent a lifetime training herself to think about the bad bits.
Much of my work over the past ten years has been invested in finding simple, practical, highly effective answers to her question. It’s one of the reasons I decided to spend this year creating and sharing The Miracle Of Gratitude.
The quality and ‘tone’ of our thoughts has a profound impact on our experience of life.
Telling your Monkey Mind to stop thinking thoughts that make you feel miserable doesn’t work.
Your mind can’t process a ‘negative’.
What do I mean?
I mean that if you shout at a child, “Don’t run!” it first has to imagine ‘running’ and then the ‘not’, by which time the accident has probably happened. If you tell them, “Don’t fall over!” then it first has to imagine falling over, and you can guess the rest. Instead of shouting, “Don’t run!” you could try “Walk!” Instead of “Don’t fall!” how about “Stay safe!”? Can you sense the difference it makes?
Tell your Monkey Mind, “Don’t think negative thoughts!” and it first has to imagine the “negative thoughts” bit and… you guessed it… it never gets round to processing the “don’t“!
One of the reasons why The Miracle Of Gratitude can be so powerful is because it gives you something to fill the vacuum; it gives you a structured training course for your mind, to help it gently retune from whatever its old radio station was to one that more often thinks of positive, happy, uplifting and grateful things.
It becomes like a ‘magic wand’ to help you turn your thoughts around, if they’re heading in a direction that you no longer want.
You’re not trying to ‘banish’ the sad or angry thoughts. In fact, that would just make them stronger, as we beat ourselves up for ‘daring’ to think an unhappy or unkind thought. As Carl Jung reminds us: “What you resist persists.” Give your energy – your attention – to a thought that you don’t ‘want’ and you are feeding that thought, allowing it to grow and continue. Instead, we’re simply looking to tip the balance in favour of the happy and more empowering ones, one day at a time; one thought at a time; no ‘forcing’; no ‘have to’; no ‘getting rid’; simply choosing to play with gratitude exercises and projects, one day at a time.
And what better way to do it than to tune yourself in to gratitude?
For those of you who are already joining in with The Miracle of Gratitude, I’d love to hear how you’re getting on. Perhaps you could share, via the comments box, how the daily practices have been impacting your life? Which gratitude project are you playing with? Are you still taking a moment to experience Gratitude Minutes? Do you have any insights? Experiences? Questions? Answers?
Not joined in yet? What are your favourite techniques for turning your thoughts around?
And if you haven’t had a chance to join in yet, here’s where to find out more about how to register today: www.MiracleOfGratitude.com
Namaste,
Fed Up Of Being Held Back By Limiting Beliefs? How To Let One Go In The Next Sixty Seconds
Are you fed up of being held back by limiting beliefs?
Have you had enough of not being able to turn your dreams into reality, because you’re blocking and sabotaging your progress?
Are you ready to have a clear-out and move on up to the next level?
Here’s my favourite sixty second process for clearing out a limiting belief – a long-cherished excuse – and setting yourself free to move closer to the life you have been dreaming of.
Beliefs, like clothes, were never intended to be worn forever. If they’re tired out and no longer fit, it’s time to say goodbye!
We pick up our beliefs from the most random of places.
Sometimes we get them from our family or teachers, sometimes we pick them up from the media and our perception of society’s beliefs and expectations of us.
Wherever they come from, all beliefs have one thing in common:
Our beliefs either block or enable that which we create in our lives.
Got any old beliefs hanging around in there, that no longer serve your highest good?
How about having a good rummage and clearing a few out?
Letting them go is much less effort than hanging on to them and looking after them, year after year, as they keep you stuck in old habits and out-dated ways of living.
And you get all the fun of choosing the new replacements, as an added bonus.
Want a sixty second technique to help you let go of an old belief, right now?
Here goes!
- Choose a belief that no longer fits.
How to spot one of these?
Think of something you really want to acheive, create or experience, but have been struggling with.
Now finish the following sentence:
“I can’t do this, because….”
The word ‘because‘ allows you to uncover your (potentially well-hidden) excuse. This helps you to spot the limiting belief that has been holding you back. - Next allow the belief to soften.
I’m not a big fan of positive affirmations. Telling your unconscious mind that a belief it has spent decades reinforcing with carefully-collected evidence is not true is a great way to set up an inner conflict, which always brings trouble.
As Carl Jung reminds us: “What we resist persists.”
So if we go around bashing our beliefs, we’re likely to end up feeling miserable and demoralised.
Instead, allow the belief to soften; to melt; to gently be released, rather than forcing it into the dustbin, kicking and screaming.
One way to soften a belief – to open your heart and mind to the possibility that it doesn’t need to be true for you any more – is to ask yourself the questions:
- Is this really true?
- Who says?
- Will the ‘future me’ thank me for letting go of this out-of-date belief?
Feel it starting to soften and melt away, like butter in the hot summer’s sun.
- Choose to let it go.
Letting go of them is simply a matter of choosing. “I choose to let go of this belief; I don’t need it any more.”
It doesn’t have to be any more difficult than that – unless you want it to be 😉 - And then get curious: “What would my ‘future me’ like me to believe instead?”
(That question might send your head into a bit of a spin – that’s ok!)
Play with new ideas of what you could believe instead.
Try them on for size.
What kinds of thoughts are they thinking? How would it be if you were to start thinking those thoughts, right now?
Imagine you have incorporated them into your life and zoom forwards a couple of decades – how does it feel? Really allow yourself to experiment with the curiosity and excitement of a young child, while you choose your new, more empowering beliefs.
That’s it!
Sorry if you wanted it to be more complicated. 😉
All you need to do now is to remember to keep polishing that new empowering belief.
Maybe write it down on a post-it and stick it in your wallet, where you’ll see it every day? Put it on the mirror, for when you’re brushing your teeth? Perhaps you could set it as an appointment reminder to ‘ping up’ on your computer every couple of hours for a few days?
How else could you get creative and remind yourself to play with your new empowering belief?
There’s absolutely no need for it to be difficult, if you do it with a lightness of heart and a dollop of self-acceptance and self-forgiveness.
Want More? Join me for my Limiting Beliefs Masterclass and learn how to spot them, before they cause problems, AND set yourself free from their secret sabotage or your success.
Want to have a go at this?
Which worn-out, old beliefs could you choose to let go of today?
How about sharing how you get on, via the comments box, below?
Namaste,
How To Handle Annoying People Without Losing Your Cool – In Under Sixty Seconds
Most of us know someone we’d rather not spend the weekend with. And some of us know someone we might even cross the street to avoid.
But what happens when your avoidance tactics don’t work any more? If you simply HAVE TO spend time with that person who has been driving you crazy?
How can you handle their annoying behaviour, without losing your cool or resorting to pretending to like them?
Fed Up Of That Annoying Person Bugging You? How A Minute Of Gratitude Could Turn Things Around (Lessons Learned From Appalling Customer Service!)
Most of us get pretty worked up about people behaving badly or unfairly. Thinking about it distracts us during the day. And it can keep us awake at night.
Fortunately there’s a 3-step action plan for stopping that annoying person from bugging you – and breaking the cycle, so you can experience more people behaving kindly.
Have you noticed how we tend to get what we think about?
And how the more we think about something, the more we get stuck on that particular radio station – especially if it’s the one that tells us stories about how annoying someone else is?
But did you know that the more we think about it, the more of it we attract into our lives? And that goes for difficult people, too.
There was a point last year when I had been on the receiving end of a lot of rubbish customer service. Lots and lots. The only reason I reacted to it as strongly as I did is either because there’s a lesson in there for me, or because I’ve been giving my ‘head space’ over to thinking about the bad customer service I’ve experienced – thereby telling The Universe that I’d like more of it, please…
Fortunately, once I had ‘woken up’ and spotted what I was doing, I knew the solution. Would you like to know it too?
Want A 3 Step Quick-Fix To Help Break The Habit Of Letting People Drive You Crazy?
Becoming aware of a habit that no longer serves you is the first step towards changing things.
The second step is accepting it – letting go of the guilt trips and beating yourself up.
The third step is to do something different!
So, to turn things around, I applied gratitude to the situation.
To help my Monkey Mind let go of the need to tell its dramatically-embellished ‘woe is me’ story, I shifted my focus.
I had been consciously choosing to ‘spend’ my thoughts (they’re a valuable form of currency) on saying a heart-felt “thank you” for examples of great customer service.
I was – and still am – doing this at random points throughout my day, for at least a minute a time.
And do you know what happens?
- I instantly feel better – ok it takes about 60 seconds – but my mood lifts
- My heart feels lighter, as I’m no longer dragging my mood down with thoughts of “It’s not fair!” and “Why is this happening?” and “I’m not happy about this.”
- The grumpy stories have stopped. I’m no longer indulging my mind’s need for drama on this one.
- I’m creating chemical reactions in my body, triggered by my thoughts, that tell my body to trigger the hormones that produce happy feelings – both emotionally and physically – rather than stressed feelings.
- I’m really enjoying feeling gratitude towards those people who have behaved kindly and helpfully towards me in the past.
And, perhaps the most amazing outcome:
- I could feel that the part of me that was ‘magnetising’ these negative experiences towards me was slowly melting away. I can still feel – somehow – that I have broken the cycle and this stuff doesn’t need to come my way any more.
Now, it’s not about ‘pretending’ that those negative experiences were ok or acceptable. It’s about accepting them for what they are – experiences – but no longer indulging in giving them all of your head space. And then creating the space for you to move on.
And once I got to that place of neutral acceptance, I was able to move on to a more positive mantra, each time I spotted one of those old stories creeping up on me:
“I feel grateful for the experiences of excellent customer service that are waiting for me.”
Of course, you don’t need to save this kind of technique for lousy customer service.
Imagine someone who is bugging you in general, or behaving unkindly.
Is your head going round and round, thinking about their words and behaviour?
Want it to stop?
- Accept the situation. Stop fighting with yourself over it. Stop telling yourself the stories and running the ‘what if’ scenarios in your head.
- Choose to focus on feeling grateful for specific examples of people you know who have behaved kindly towards you. Do this for at least sixty seconds at a time, as many times as you can, during your day.
- Choose a mantra to use, if that old story creeps back up. Something about feeling grateful for the positive experiences in such-and-such scenario that are waiting for you will work well.
Forgive yourself.
Sure, forgive the other person, too, if you can find that in your heart.
“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” ~ Oscar Wilde 😉
But remember to forgive yourself for each and every time you have felt wound up and angry about their behaviour; for each time you have retaliated; for each time you found yourself lying awake at night, stressing about it.
Forgive and move on.
Where could you apply this technique today?
Which situation in your life is crying out for you to stop going round in stressed-out circles, waiting for the other person to change?
How about playing with these simple steps and then letting me know how you got on, via the comments box, below?
And if you found this helpful, and you’d like to learn more about getting off the emotional rollercoaster, once and for all, then make sure you check out whether my 14 day Master Your Emotions programme is right for you. People tell me it’s changing their lives, in just five minutes a day.
With love, Namaste,
P.S. Do you know someone who needs to know about this technique? Please feel free to share it with them 😉
Forget New Year’s Resolutions! Change Your Life With A Gratitude Jar, Instead.
I want to share with you one of the simplest – and yet most profound – New Year Resolutions you could make today.
Forget about the whole gym / giving up chocolate / never swearing again stuff. Sure, it’s helpful, but it’s really only twiddling with the outside.
If you want to make real, life-long shifts in your life this year, go for Gratitude instead.
And a gratitude jar is the simplest way to do it
Just imagine training your brain to think of happy thoughts and things you are grateful for, instead of pointing out everything that’s going wrong!
Just imagine saying goodbye to feeling glum and fed up, when things don’t go the way you had wanted!
Just imagine discovering that you can create the life you have been dreaming of, without having to jump through all the hoops that the manifesting books tell you are essential – the complex routines that make life feel like a game of Twister!
It only takes five minutes a day to train your mind to look for the positives and to feel gratitude for what is good in your life.
That’s why I’m talking so much about gratitude these days, to help you along the way.
And to get you off to a flying start, here’s one of my favourite Gratitude Projects that you could start tonight and then let the magic happen:
How To Make A Gratitude Jar
- Grab a jar – you can decorate it, if you like. Make it a big one!
- Each day, aim to write a short note to put in the jar with a few words on it about something you feel grateful for. It doesn’t have to be anything big – whatever comes to mind.
- Whenever you’re having a bad day, dive into the jar and remind yourself how many things you have been feeling good about, over the year.
- When December 31st comes around, put some time aside to read through the messages in your jar and to experience what a wonderful year it has been.
- Then start another jar, next year. You could put the old one in a special place, to keep for future generations of ‘you’!
Ninja tip:
If you want to do this with kids, remember you don’t have to write in it. You can get them drawing pictures or snipping photos out of magazines or adding a pebble or other small memento.
The key is to make it fun.
Creativity (getting out of your logical left brain) ROCKS when it comes to experimenting with gratitude!
If you want to take things to the next level, perhaps you’d like to find out for yourself how super-simple gratitude practices can change your life – in just a minute a day?
My gratitude journal – A Year Full of Gratitude – turns itself into a year-long, interactive online course if you join the readers’ club that comes as part of the book.
Plus it comes with weekly videos and a podcast to teach you – in easy steps – how to turn your inner critic into your biggest cheerleader. AND there’s a private forum where you can share your experiences with like-minded souls and get answers to your gratitude questions.
Want to join us? You can grab your copy of the book here and make sure you use the link in the first few pages to join the readers’ club. I would LOVE to share this journey with you.
Wishing you a very full Gratitude Jar by the end of the year!
Namaste,