One of the most important things you can do when creating a new habit, is to enlist moral support. By telling people what you want to do, it allows them to help you and encourage you.
We’ve all got them.
All the reasons why we can’t meditate.
We don’t have time.
We’re too tired.
There’s too much to do.
It doesn’t “work” for us.
But what if we could see meditation as a solution, to help us get more done, rather than an obligation that takes up time?
It is said that meditation and prayer are two sides of the same coin.
When Archbishop Desmond Tutu was asked how long he prays every day, it is said he answered:
“I am so busy, if I want to get everything done, I cannot pray for less than 2 hours per day.”
This one stopped me in my tracks.
I’m guessing that, although I feel I’m really busy, someone like Desmond Tutu might be just a teeny bit busier?
And he says he can’t get it all done, without that meditative prayer space?
Time to review my excuses!
The 3 stages of meditation help us see how meditating more could achieve the results implied by Desmond Tutu’s answer.
Relaxation
If we’re tense, we can’t meditate.
Being more physically, mentally and emotionally relaxed helps us think more clearly and – surprise, surprise- get more done.
Concentration
Meditation is about being able to hold our focus on something (or nothing!), while the mind does whatever it likes in the background. That’s how we can come to a place of inner peace, when the world around us is full of noise and busy-ness.
Being focused helps tame our distractable, “grasshopper mind” to pay attention to the present moment. Being aware, concentrating and focusing on what we’re doing dramatically cuts down the time we waste, without realising, every day.
Meditation
The act of meditating brings us back into the present moment.
It helps us connect with our inner wisdom.
It helps us release attachments and dissolve denial, so we can see the Truth of a situation, rather than our projection.
It gets us back in flow with our Higher energies and helps life unfold before us, with less effort and less pain.
Easy to see how this could help us get more “done” with less “doing”.
So I’m off to practice “being” for a while, whilst this message settles for me.
Then I’ll see how much more I achieve today!
You don't have to turn your legs into a pretzel, to be able to meditate
What are your favourite meditation excuses?
How could you perhaps find the time to slot in a little more space to “be” today?
What would it take for you to make that commitment to yourself?
Is there support you need? Who might you ask for help?
My meditation master once told a story about a stressed executive, who came to him wanting to learn how to meditate.
It didn’t take long to see that the guy couldn’t sit still.
From his finger twitching and body fidgeting, you could see that his mind was racing.
The bags under his eyes told tales of stress-filled, sleepless nights.
If anyone ever needed to tap into the de-stressing benefits of relaxation, this guy was a prime candidate.
But my meditation master turned him away.
“Why on earth would you do that?” we asked him, a stunned class of trainee meditation teachers.
His smile shone gently as he explained.
Meditation is about so much more than just sitting still, closing your eyes and expecting to stumble across inner peace.
It is a three-stage process which, like learning to drive a car or play a musical instrument, takes dedication and practice.
Stage 1: Relaxation
Until you can relax your body and your mind, meditation is nearly impossible. Youl’ll be sitting there, desperately uncomfortable after the first few minutes, totally pre-occupied by your shopping list or last night’s television.
You simply won’t be able to sit still!
Being deeply relaxed is about completely relaxing your body, whilst keeping your mind alert. If you nod off, you’re asleep, not relaxed! Relaxation is also about acceptance – accepting your environment, accepting your body (with all its aches and pains) and accepting your mind (even if it’s chattering away!). Only when you are deeply relaxed will you be able to start to meditate.
Until your mind can keep its attention concentrated on one thing for a period of time, you’ll find it extremely difficult not to be constantly distracted by other thoughts. Meditating isn’t about “emptying your mind” and “thinking of nothing”.
It’s about allow any thoughts to drift past, without stealing your attention. In concentration, we bring our attention inside, to allow us to move towards reconnecting with who we really are, rather than the external, ego-based world we usually inhabit.
Concentration exercises, such as candle gazing and physical awareness exercises, can help the majority of us who have very poor concentration skills!
Stage 3: Focus
Once you are deeply relaxed and able to concentrate, you will be able to focus on the practices you have chosen, leading you into meditation.
This is where your awareness can really expand and you start to experience the happiness and sense of inner peace that regular meditators achieve.
So my meditation master had turned this man away, because he didn’t want his prospective student to waste time and effort, trying to meditate, when he was still completely unable to relax. After a full twelve months of practicing deep relaxation, which can itself be life-changing, the student returned to become an excellent meditator.
And the video on the right explains why finding a good class and a good teacher can make such a difference. In fact, it would have prevented me from spending 15 years thinking I was meditating, when I wasn’t! 😉
If you can’t make it to a local class, you might like to check out the 28 Day Meditation Challenge. It’s like a ‘virtual local meditation course’, helping you create a strong meditation habit – no matter how busy your life is. Plus you get access to an online forum, where you can get moral support and answers to your meditation and mindfulness questions.
What have your experiences with meditation been so far?
What would your top tips be to help someone who is learning how to meditate?
