Clare Josa | Author And Keynote Speaker

UK's Foremost Imposter Syndrome Expert, International Keynote Speaker & 8x Author

monkey mind

What Is Your Monkey Mind Trying To Tell You?

How To Change Your Life

I don’t know about you, but most of us seem to have what the meditation world calls a monkey mind. I call it my grasshopper mind, because it can flit from one thing to the next with an amazing level of skill, constantly hopping around, making plenty of noise and rarely still.

When we sit for silent meditation, or try to practise mindfulness, we often find that our biggest challenges, such as knees hurting or back aching, are nothing compared to the chattering of our mind. Yet, although we might not be aware of where the thoughts come from, we can do something about them.

You don’t have to ignore your monkey mind.

And remember the #1 meditation myth? Meditation and mindfulness are not about making your monkey mind shut up!

Sometimes our monkey mind is trying to get a message through to us. It might be worried that we’re going to forget to do something; sometimes it’s telling us about things we are afraid of; sometimes it’s just used to filling in the chatter so we don’t feel lonely; sometimes we have just got into the habit of having an unconscious commentary running of everything we are seeing and doing.

When your monkey mind is shouting and yelling, it’s worth sitting quietly for a moment and asking yourself why. Is there a message it’s trying to get to you? Is there something you need to know?

Often, if you listen without judgement or interaction, the monkey mind can have its say and then relax. Sometimes it helps to jot down the thing it wanted you to remember, so you can let go of it and get on with your meditation.

What Are Some Of The Games A Monkey Mind Can Play? And What Can You Do About Them?

I’m curious: what are the games that your monkey mind plays, when you’re trying to meditate or practise mindfulness?

Here are some of the ways that my meditation students have experienced it:

  • Getting bored
    Your monkey mind tells you it’s feeling bored. It tells you that meditation is boring. It can be pretty convincing.Of course meditation is boring for a monkey mind that is used to running the show, at faster than the speed of sound…But accepting that your mind is playing the ‘bored game’ and allowing yourself to go more deeply into your practice will prove to your monkey mind that meditation is far from boring!
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  • Playing music
    Your monkey mind has usually been trained to be scared of silence. So, even if you manage to accept your thoughts, it might try new tactics, such as playing music or singing a catchy song.Again – just accept this. Stick the music on the conveyer belt or whichever other technique is working for you.Turn down the volume. Slow down the tempo, if it starts yelling for attention.Don’t engage. Don’t get annoyed. Don’t play the game. Just practise accepting it and let it go. It will eventually get the idea.
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  • Reminding you about your ‘to do’ list
    Classic trick, this one! Again – you know it’s not true. It’s VERY rare that something won’t wait 10 minutes.Stick it on the conveyer belt!

A previous student on my online meditation course shared:

“For the first time *ever* in lots of ‘trying and failing’, I got some sense of what it is like to watch thoughts and actually observe them, moving on. I love the conveyer belt.”

 

Another shared a great tip for accepting – and not engaging, with your thoughts:

“I chose to sit outside a cave, in the sunshine, while my thoughts stayed in the cave. They seemed quieter; more distant. And it made it harder for me to interact with them – easier to accept them and just let them be.”

Quick Exercise:

What are your monkey mind’s games? They’re different for each of us.

And how do you deal with them?

What has worked for you?

What could you do differently, to make peace with your monkey mind?

Do You See What’s Going On?

Often we’re not even aware of the fact that we’re living our life according to the whim of the monkey mind. It is triggering our emotions and filtering our experience of life, without our conscious permission. Sounds scary? Yet this is what we have spent many years training it to do!

And we have spent a lifetime, learning to ignore its behaviour and pretend it isn’t there.

The mind’s ‘default setting’ is thinking, not awareness, peace, stillness or being. So it’s no wonder that it objects, when we dare to suggest it might quieten down for our meditation time…

How to tame a multi-tasking mind

Many of us have trained our mind to need to think of many things at once. It’s a real skill. But it doesn’t help you to relax, de-stress or learn to meditate. An interesting question (that sends your mind into a spin!) is:

“What won’t happen if I don’t think of three things at once?”

What won’t happen if your mind doesn’t chatter three conversations at once? Just let an answer bubble up for you, without analysing or judging it. This can help you unlock the key of why you have been feeding your monkey mind. Are you scared of silence? Are you scared things won’t get done? Are you trying to avoid thinking about something else?

Usually the answer to that question contains hints on how to set yourself free from that old grasshopper mind habit. If the answer feels uncomfortable, don’t dive into the drama.

Thinking isn’t ‘bad’.

But an out-of-control mind produces thinking that is ‘unconscious’, ‘unaware’. This feeds our love of drama, creating painful emotional states and keeping us stuck worrying about the past or stressing about the future.

So it is ‘untamed’ thinking that is the issue, not the presence of the thoughts.

It is our attachment to the thoughts that causes the pain, not the fact that they exist.

Be gentle, but firm, with your monkey mind.

Remember that with every breath we can choose to make a fresh start. Anything the monkey mind is telling us about our past belongs just there.

Having chosen to go on a meditation journey, you’re already taking positive steps towards creating a new future.

Meditation and mindfulness can really, really help calm a monkey mind, but you need to be careful which kind of meditation you pick. For example the types of meditation where you sit silently for hours might not be the best place for you to start, if your monkey mind stresses you out.

Mindfulness, which we are looking at next week, is about being fully present and aware of the moment – including your thoughts. It can be a lot easier for somebody who’s running a strong monkey mind pattern.

Practical solutions for today

You might like to experiment with some subtle tweaks you can make to remind your grasshopper mind who’s boss and calm it a little. You are the boss of your monkey mind, whether it accepts it or not!

If your thoughts are mainly words:

  • How about telling your thoughts to slow down? Cutting the speed at which your mind is speaking can help cut your stress levels dramatically.
  • And when you have played with that, how about changing the volume, making it quieter?
  • You could experiment with changing the tone of the conversation that you are hearing in your head and making it sound kinder and softer.

If your thoughts are mainly pictures:

  • How about slowing down any movement in the pictures? This can really help you relax.
  • If the pictures are bright and colourful, you could tone them down a little.
  • If they are big, you could make them smaller.

All this – and plenty more – is possible. You just need to play with the techniques.

Don’t wait till you’re meditating – practise these techniques at any time of day when you want to quieten your mind and de-stress.

If your monkey mind is a bit rebellious, there’s something you can do to get it to help you, instead of hindering your meditation journey:

Give your monkey mind a job to do, while you’re meditating!

For example, it could be ‘in charge’ of reminding you, when your attention drifts. Or perhaps it might like to be the ‘boss’ of letting you know how your big toe on your left foot is feeling. The job doesn’t have to be serious!

Your mind is used to working very hard and, like any workaholic, it finds it hard to switch off. It deserves your compassion – but not your sympathy! It’s time for you to get back in the driving seat….

So my invitation to you today is to play with understanding what your monkey mind might be trying to tell you – and then to remind it who’s boss – lovingly, but firmly.

Want to tell us your Monkey Mind’s favourite games? Or discover how others are handling theirs? I’d love to hear from you, via the comments!

Affirmation

I give my monkey mind permission to let go, just for ten minutes.

And if you’d love to make meditation – even just 10 minutes – part of your daily routine, then you’ll love my 10 week online programme: How To Meditate. I’d be honoured to share the journey with you.

With love, Namaste,

CJ Sig

Is Your Monkey Mind Telling You The Truth About Stress?

How To Change Your Life

{Hint: You’ll Want To Make Sure You’re Not Falling Into This Trap}

Have you noticed how your Monkey Mind (that little voice in your head – or maybe yours sits on your shoulder?) likes to tell stories about stress?

Even when you’re not feeling particularly stressed, if it spots a stress trigger, it uses it as an excuse to start up the story machine again.

And it likes labels. It likes to put things in boxes: “That’s a stressful thing. That’s a difficult thing. That’s a happy thing.” When the stuff is in boxes, it makes life easier for your Monkey Mind, because then it knows which auto-pilot scripts and old habitual behaviours to run.

But there’s a problem with all of this.

The problem is that we believe the stories our Monkey Mind tells us.

If it tells us something is a happy thing, we believe it. If it tells us that something is a difficult thing, we believe it. And we feed the thoughts that support those beliefs.

Life is an objective, sensory experience, until you label it and attach the event to a story.

As soon as we use a label or put an experience into a particular box, we lose our flexibility and choice over how to respond.

The experience gets automatically connected to your body’s chemistry set, triggering the hormones and chemical reactions that impact your physiology and emotions.

The label – the story – impacts every cell in your body, without you consciously doing a single thing about it.

But it’s all a fib, because:

Tweet this: ‘Life’ isn’t stressful. The stories we tell ourselves about life create the stress. It is believing your thoughts that causes the pain.

The phenomenon of ‘stress’ comes from believing the stories your mind is telling you about it. Yes, some events have the power to trigger more stress than others, but ultimately it’s up to us to choose how to experience life.

 

Is this really stressful? Or am I just telling myself it is?

Whether it feels stressful or not is up to you. You get to choose which stories to feed in your mind. You get to choose which to just let float on through.

Tweet this: You are the author of your own story. So you can choose which story to write.

I know the idea of ‘choosing’ might feel difficult – and even trigger a few rotten tomatoes being thrown at me down computer screens – but it is something you CAN do. In fact, there’s a technique I’d love to share with you that could help you in the next sixty seconds. Are you up for it?

Want A Solution?

How to get your Monkey Mind to tell the truth – and reclaim your choice – a 60 second mindfulness technique.

  1. Start with 3 Mindful Breaths, breathing in through your nose and breathing out with a tension-releasing ‘ahhh’ sound. This brings you back into the present moment and into your body.
  2. Say to yourself: “I choose to press ‘pause’ on the story.” And mean it. Wait for the gap to arrive.
  3. Ask yourself: “What is real in this situation?”
  4. Be firm with yourself. If stories and drama surface, press pause on them and ask yourself again what’s real.
  5. If you get stuck, go back to describing the physical sensory experience, e.g. “When my boss said I have to do a presentation next week, I noticed the pit of my stomach tensing up and I clenched my jaw.”
  6. Sensory descriptions bring you back to what’s real and helps you to drop the label-addiction.
  7. When you distil the situation back to the essence of the sensory experience, and let go of the labels and the stories, it always feels better.
  8. If you want to try out solutions to the problem, imagine them and ask yourself how they feel. Your body will tell you whether the solution creates physical sensations that feel worse or whether it brings genuine relief. It’s easier to make decisions, when you work with your body’s internal barometer.

Did you enjoy this technique? It’s really just the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more I’d love to share with you!

If stress is a feature of your daily life – and you’re feeling fed up with being stuck on an emotional rollercoaster, then you’ll love my 14 day “Master Your Emotions” programme. You could set yourself free from that emotional cycle in the next 14 days – in just 10 minutes a day.

Here’s where you can find out more and get started today: Master Your Emotions

How did you get on with this technique? What did you notice shifted, when you turned from ‘story’ to ‘body’? How might you remind yourself to play with this?

I’d love to hear from you, via the comments.

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

10 Reasons Why Meditation Is Essential, If You Want To Run A Successful Business

Introverted Entrepreneurs' Club

So you’re an entrpreneur or a busy business manager and you keep hearing about what a good idea meditation is, but you’re telling yourself that you don’t have time to meditate – or that it’s just for hippies – or that you’ll do it when you retire…

I know how that feels – I’ve been there.

But I’m curious: is there a single entrpreneur or business manager who wouldn’t like:

  • to feel less stressed?
  • to think more clearly and be able to concentrate better?
  • to worry less?
  • to sleep better and feel less tired?
  • to feel calmer and happier?
  • to have flashes of brilliant inspiration?
  • to have life fall into place and feel less of an effort – to get more done in less time?
  • to calm your mind and tame your Inner Critic?

All of these – and many more – are benefits of a daily meditation practice.

And you don’t have to disappear off into a cave and pretend to be a yogi, sitting for days on end, before you notice the effects.

As little as ten minutes a day of meditation can make a huge difference – when you know how.

Just in case you need a little more convincing, here are ten reasons why meditation is essential, if you want to run a successful business:

Meditation for entrepreneurs and business managers

  1. Meditation recharges your batteries.

    When you’re flat empty and out of charge, ten minutes of the right kind of meditation can have as much benefit as a couple of hours of cat nap.
    When you’re managing a business, having enough energy is vital. And meditation doesn’t bring with it the same post-rush-crashes as caffeine or sugar.
    Taking ten minutes out of a hectic day to meditate can give you hours back in additional creative time.

  2. It lowers your risk of heart disease.

    Researchers (yes, the ones with lab coats, not the long-bearded hippies) have proven that meditation can strengthen your heart, lower your blood pressure and lower your risk of heart disease. Not convinced?
    Here’s the evidence: 3 Secrets Your Heart Wants You To Hear About Meditation

  3. Meditation helps you to feel less stressed.

    It triggers the body’s relaxation response, which neutralises the cortisol and adrenalin that would otherwise keep you feeling totally stressed-out.
    AND it also helps you to spot your stress triggers and habits, so you can consciously choose to deal with them.
    Feeling less stressed means it’s easier to concentrate, meaning you’ll get more done in less time.

  4. It helps you to worry less.

    Regular meditation helps you to let go of your Monkey Mind’s stories. It’s not about making your mind goes silent – instead it’s about reclaiming your power to choose which thoughts and stories to feed.
    This reduces worrying and anxiety, whilst also helping you to feel more relaxed and to trust that things will be ok.
    Letting go of worrying and anxiety opens the door for inspiration and business success.

  5. Meditation helps you to feel happier – and smile for no reason

    By cutting your stress and worry levels, and focussing on balancing your body’s relaxation vs ‘fight or flight’ responses, meditation helps you to feel less angry and irritable.
    Keep at it and the benefits will grow, along with a sense of well-being, ‘ok-ness’ and peace becoming your new ‘set point’. As time moves on, this rises up the scale to general happiness. People will catch you smiling for no reason. 🙂
    It’s so much easier to inspire people to share your vision when you lift their spirits, just by being there.

  6. Meditation helps you to think clearly

    It’s the perfect antidote to ‘fog-brain’. Fuzzy thinking is one of the biggest causes of business mistakes – and procrastination. By learning how to calm your mind (and there are even specific techniques that will do this for you!) you find that the clarity you need for managing a brilliant business is readily available to you.
    Just imagine how being able to think more clearly could help you to implement your business visions.

  7. It can bring you flashes of inspiration

    When you’re regularly taking time out to sit with ‘who you really are’, rather than the stories your Monkey Mind is telling you, then you’ll deepen your connection with your Inner Wisdom and intuition. That will lead to flashes of inspiration on how to solve problems – or dive into a market gap you would never otherwise have spotted.
    A single flash of inspiration could be worth thousands to your business.

  8. Meditation can help you to deal with your Inner Critic

    It’s a rare business beast that isn’t running some kind of Inner Critic. And your Inner Critic is the part of you that means you lash out when you’re feeling threatened or stressed or insecure or worried – and you self-sabotage your success at the 11th hour – or you don’t even start that dream project.
    It’s essential for entrepreneurs and business managers to deal with their Inner Critic in a healthy way – and meditation is one of the most effective and empowering tools for this.
    Just imagine how much braver and bolder you would be in your business if you had dealt with your Inner Critic and felt fearless in your choices.

  9. It brings you insights what’s the Truth and what is your mind’s stories and projections

    When you learn to observe your Monkey Mind, rather than dance with its drama, you can set yourself free from its stories. This helps you to practise discernment – telling the difference between what is Truth and what is ‘tantrum’. When you can calm your mind enough to do this, you’re no longer at the whim of your mind’s soap opera and seeing straight to the Truth of a problem becomes one of your greatest skills.
    Just imagine being able to do this in a tricky business negotiation?

  10. Meditation can improve your relationships

    By being happier, calmer, less stressed and less worried, your relationships will automatically improve. And it’s not just at home. You’ll be more patient with your work colleagues and your upbeat focus can even the performance of the people in your team. The shift you make from living in your head to living in your heart is contagious – it inspires people to become the best person they can and it can even dramatically increase customer loyalty.
    Just imagine the impact the changes you make in yourself could have on your family – and on your staff morale – and on your customers.

And we’re just scratching the surface of the benefits with this list!

Surely all of that is worth ten minutes a day of your time?

If this sounds like something that would be worth you carving out ten minutes a day for, then here’s how you could get started today:

Join me for my “Meditation For Managers” Course

Launching on September 1st 2014, this six week online course is specially designed for business managers and entrepreneurs.

Meditation for managers online courseIt brings you the ‘how to’ of meditation and mindfulness. But it also dives into an inspired blend of modern psychology and Ancient Wisdom, to make creating the daily habit easy. You’ll get to deal with the excuses, blocks and myths that might otherwise get in the way.

It’s a gorgeous combo of videos, workbooks, MP3 audios and moral support in our private Facebook group.

And it’s all designed in bite-sized chunks that mean you can fit it in, easily, no matter how busy your schedule is. If you can find 10-15 minutes a day, then you’ll get the full benefits. And there’s a special VIP launch offer that you won’t want to miss.

I’m curious: are you a reluctant meditator, who is still in the ‘should’ zone?
Or are you ROCKIN’ your business with a daily Zen-like habit?
How has meditation helped your business?
And what would you like to know about how to get it to work for you?
Please let me know, via the comments – I’d LOVE to hear from you!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

Are You Ready To Discover How Easy It Can Be, To Learn To Meditate?

How To Change Your Life

How To Meditate, Made Easy

Isn’t It Time To Tame Your Monkey Mind?

Do you want to learn how to meditate, but you’ve somehow never quite got round to it?

Is life simply too hectic – and you’re not sure how to fit it in?

Or perhaps you used to meditate, but you’ve lapsed and would like to give your meditation practice a kick start?

Would you allow me to demystify the ancient techniques for you – and to blend them with inspiration from the world of modern psychology – to make learning to meditate easy for you? In just 7 days?

 

In this 7 day free introductory meditation course, we’ll be laying the foundations, dispelling the myths and helping you to easily weave meditation into your daily life. It’s practical, light-hearted and really effective – and it’s a brilliant way to lay strong foundations for your meditation habit, when you’re starting out.

If you’re looking to dive in more deeply, I do have a premium 90 day meditation course, too.

 

Here’s what you can join in with, over the next 7 days:

How To Meditate, Made Easy

Day 1: Myth-Busting And Excuse-Dumping!

On Day 1 we’ll be covering what meditation is – and isn’t, busting the #1 myth (I bet you’re like I was – and it roped you in!) and getting started with your 10 minute MP3 meditation download.


How To Meditate, Made Easy

Day 2: Meditation’s Not About Turning Your Legs Into A Pretzel

On Day 2, I’ll be sharing insider secrets on how to make meditation comfortable (it’s not supposed to hurt!) – and how to sit so you can meditate, without falling asleep – there’s a simple secret that really helps with this! Plus we’ll take a whistle-stop tour of the benefits you can look forward to from a regular meditation practice. Even 10 minutes a day can make a difference!


How To Meditate, Made Easy

Day 3: The Secret To Staying Motivated

On Day 3 I’m going to let you in on the secret to keeping yourself motivated – you won’t want to miss this!


How To Meditate, Made Easy

Day 4: How To Magically Create Time To Meditate

On Day 4 we’ll dive in and discover how to magically create the time to meditate, even when it feels impossible, no matter how busy you are, along with the best times to meditate.


How To Meditate, Made Easy

Day 5: How To Stop Your Monkey Mind From Getting In The Way Of Your Meditation?

On Day 5 we’ll look at the tricks your Monkey Mind plays, to stop you from meditating, and how to get around them, and – vital – acknowledging that meditation can ‘stir the pot’ of your emotions – I’ll share with you a beautiful technique you can use as what I call ‘emotional first aid’.


How To Meditate, Made Easy

Day 6: The vital difference between inspiration, motivation and a habit that works for you

On Day 6 you’ll learn the little-known truths (that nobody tells you!) for turning an ‘occasional’ meditation into a habit you look forward to – for the 7 days and beyond – nuts and bolts and more!


How To Meditate, Made Easy

Day 7: Insider Secrets and expert tips to help you keep your meditation habit going, long-term

And on Day 7 you’ll create your own personal action plan for keeping the habit going – plus insider secrets to make it easy.

MP3 MeditationPlus you get a gorgeous 10 minute MP3 meditation, which you can listen to, each day, and moral support in our lovely invitation-only Soul-Sized Living online community.


arrow-no-bgAnd you also get my weekly Soul-Sized Living updates, with the latest Soul-Sized Wednesdays life-changing video, plus exclusive articles and members-only treats.

 

I have been there and done it – both as a student of meditation for over 20 years and, over the past six years, as a formally qualified meditation teacher (and NLP Trainer and reformed Mechanical Engineer and author and busy mum of 3 young boys) – so I know ALL ABOUT meditation excuses 😉 !

I can help you find the short cuts you’re looking for – and I’ll be sharing the insider secrets that make it simple and fun.

My students tell me that this stuff works – ten minutes a day really can change your life.

Oh, and, err… did I mention… I’m giving this to you as my gift? No strings. No catches. Just a heart-felt desire to help you change your life.

If you’d like to be part of this, then register today – it’s free – as my gift to you and your future.

See you on the other side of the sign up form!

With love, Namaste,
CJ Sig

How To Beat The Winter Blues – Week Three: What On Earth Are You Thinking? Roping in the power of your Monkey Mind, to help you handle the winter blues

Inspirational Messages

Welcome to week 3 of How To Beat The Winter Blues!

How to beat the winter bluesHow did you get on with last week’s strategies, for keeping your energy levels feeling great this winter? I’d love to hear how you’re getting on, over at the forum.

This week we’re moving on to your Monkey Mind and the vital role it plays in the winter blues.

It’s not winter that’s the problem – it’s the stories we tell ourselves about it.



Winter bluesWhen it comes to dealing with the winter blues, your Monkey Mind (the chattering bit that runs a commentary on every aspect of your life) can be your worst enemy. It can take a cold breeze and turn it into a gale. It can take a few spots of rain and turn them into a downpour. It can take a few flakes of snow and turn them into a blizzard.

But your Monkey Mind can also be your best friend, when you know how to handle it.

Want to find out how?

Want to discover How To Beat The Winter Blues? Join this online course today and you can start changing your life in the next five minutes.

Want to join in with this course? Upgrade to discover How To Beat The Winter Blues today.

[Read more…] about How To Beat The Winter Blues – Week Three: What On Earth Are You Thinking? Roping in the power of your Monkey Mind, to help you handle the winter blues

Want To Change Your Life? What If You Did Absolutely Nothing?

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I was thinking back over my personal journey recently and realised that I spent the first 20 years of my ‘seeking’, trying to find ways to change my life. I went on every course and seminar I could find. I read every book. I did every technique. I recited every mantra.
Always doing. Doing. Doing.

If I had a change I wanted to make, I became fixated with the ‘how’.

I wouldn’t even glance at the ‘where do you want to be?’ – I would wash over my destination ideas and dive into “How? How? How?”

I would sit in that horrendously expensive, packed seminar and not hear a word that was being said, because a little knot of anger was building up inside:
“But your’re not telling me HOW?”

How?????“Let go of old hurts!”

HOW?

“Stop thinking negative thoughts!”

HOW?

“Stop telling yourself those painful old stories!”

HOW?

It screamed from every pore of my being.

It became my fixation.

It drove my development. I trained as a certified NLP Trainer, as a hypnotherapist, as a Reiki Master Teacher, I dived into EFT, I wallowed in Journey Processes, I devoured courses from Wayne Dyer and Abraham Hicks, I studied spiritual texts, I practised yoga and energy release techniques, I became a student of homeopathy and aromatherapy and herbalism and nutrition, I qualified as a Meditation Teacher, all the while looking for the HOW.

It was an awful lot of effort to put into HOW.

And, because I wasn’t finding that HOW, I felt like a failure, most of the time.

“But I shouldn’t feel like this, I’m an NLP Trainer.”
“But my life shouldn’t be falling apart, I’m a Meditation Teacher / Abundance Mentor.”
“But I should have more energy than this, I know all about nutrition / natural health.”

The list went on…

Anyone else with me on this one? Can you see this pattern reflected in your own journey?

Then, one day, something shifted.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but looking back I can see it clearly now.

I had a simple yet profoundly life-changing insight. I asked myself a question that blew away decades of ‘self-work’.

What if there is no ‘how’?

Yikes!

After decades of building my identity around trying to find the elusive HOW, to even consider asking myself that question was scary beyond measure.

But if there were no ‘how?’, then what was there?

How to change your life

Firstly, I grudingly had to accept that my ‘HOW’ had been an excuse; a massively effective delaying tactic.

If I didn’t know ‘how’, then I couldn’t change.

Woo hoo! Off the hook! Stay stuck for a lifetime.

Ouch.

Then, once I let that settle, I realised that I had been running from the secret of how to change my life, the whole time.

The feeling of relief as I released my relentless search for ‘HOW’ was immense. It set me free.

I had discovered a secret truth that set me free.

I’d like to spare you the decades I took to realise this one, so I’m guessing (if you’re still reading by this point!) that you might like to know what that secret is?

I’m going to break it down into sections, to help your mind accept it more easily.

The life-changing secret it took me 20 years to learn:

  1. There is no ‘how’.
    If you want to change your life, you need to change the thoughts you are thinking and the things you are doing. No change can happen without this.
    You don’t need ‘special’ thoughts.
    You don’t need a ‘process’.
    You just need to choose, moment-to-moment, one thought at a time, whether or not to feed the thoguht you’re currently thinking.
    That’s it.
    There is no ‘how’.
    Shift your thoughts, shift your life.
    Everything else is just fluff.

  2. The ‘how’ is an invention of your Monkey Mind, to avoid change.
    Change can feel scary (because of the stories we tell ourselves about it!).
    ‘How’ – waiting for that single magic wand that will painlessly take all of our old ‘stuff’ away – is one of the best excuses around for not being able to change.

  3. You don’t need to change; you just need to choose.
    There is nothing wrong with you.
    There’s nothing to ‘fix’.
    You’re not broken.
    Your thoughts and actions might be leaving you feeling a bit rubbish, but you don’t need to ‘undo’ or ‘get rid’ or ‘change’ or ‘repair’ anything about you.
    The essence of you, deep down inside, is beautiful and shining and whole.
    The only thing you need to do is to choose:

    • Who do I want to be? (I’m talking at a soul level, here, not profession!)
    • How do I want life to feel?
    • How do I want my relationships to feel?
    • What am I here to give?
    • What can I do, think and say today that will make my heart sing and my soul smile?

    Then simply choose to feed the thoughts, the words, the deeds that move you in that direction.

In each and every moment, you can choose.
You don’t need to ‘do’ anything.
You just need to choose.
And choosing is within your power, right now.

You don’t have to wait until that seminar you’re going on later in the year – or until you have finished reading the book – or until you’re an expert at a particular yoga posture.

Sure, all of that can help.

But the bottom line is that you have the power to choose to ‘do’ nothing; simply to allow yourself to melt into ‘being’ who it is you want to be – right here in this moment. Yes, right now. No, not ‘then’ or ‘when’ or ‘sometime’.

RIGHT NOW!

LET GO!!!!!! 🙂

When you know how you want your experience of life (the inside job bit!) to feel, then you can choose, right here in this moment, to live your life from that feeling.
One thought at a time, you can choose to feed the thoughts that move you closer to that feeling and to gently accept and release the thoughts that move you away from it.
One thought at a time.
That really is it.
There’s nothing to ‘do’.
There is no ‘how’.

Yes, you can wrap all of this up in processes and procedures and ceremonies and rituals, if that’s floating your boat.

Or you could choose to keep it simple.

I know which I’m choosing.

Care to join me? 🙂

With love,
Namaste,
cj-sig-clear-bg


P.S. If this resonated for you, and you want to dive in more deeply, here are some ideas for how we could work together.

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